Foodie Gossip: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Top Chef All Stars Bids Farewell to Jamie Lauren… And Tiffani Faison

Top Chef All Star's Jamie Lauren

While I would love to sound surprised, the opening of Top Chef All Stars episode 6 was a dead giveaway – and it also backed my theory that the only reason Jamie Lauren lasted on Top Chef for as long as she did was to build media buzz and frustrate the hell out of viewers so they could provide them with a “big happy” when she was (finally) told to pack her knives and go. Great marketing trick guys.

However, the episode as a whole was probably the best of the season. The scene where a very drunk Marcel goes off on Dale is hilarious. It was like watching a really bad Eminem impression. And, being a huge fan of deep sea fishing, watching the chefs make their catches was such a thrill – but even more entertaining was watching Marcel and Fabio’s fishing style. No wonder it took them 2 hours to make their first catch. But most adorable, was the married-couple-like-bromance between Richard and Fabio. It was really touching. ;-)

But I digress. While I’m happy that the remaining episodes are Jamie-free, I was a bit bummed with the lack of suspense/buildup of her demise throughout this episode. The secret was given away within the first minute of the show: this was the first episode where they really showed how annoying everyone thought she was. From a marketing perspective, I would have played up the suspense a bit more. There was all this build up and then just a “bing” instead of a “bang”. Since they spent so much time portraying Jamie as the Top Chef villain, she really should have gone out with a bang – it’s only fair.

And a message from Eric Ripert to Jamie Lauren:
ericripert SPOILER! Dear Jamie: Sorry to see you go. But I gladly offer you a free training at Le Bernardin on how to cook a fish. #topchefallstars

Owch.

Top Chef All Star's Tiffani Faison

And while I wasn’t surprised to see Tiffani Faison depart (she was one of the bottom 4), I have to say I felt a bit bummed. While she never lacked for talent, Tiffani has grown into such a likable person since Top Chef Season 1 and it would have been nice to see her stick around.

On the horizon, Angelo has been killing it, but I think we have a couple dark horses in Dale and Carla. And Antonia is really starting to step up. I’d like to see her win an elimination round – after last night’s episode, she really deserves it.

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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Top Chef All Stars Recap: Episode 6 "We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat"

Top Chef All Stars mixed things up this week – and I bet you’ll be very happy with the results…

The show begins with some major Jamie Lauren hating – a few clips recapping last week’s episode and everyone acknowledging what we already know: Jamie should have been sent home instead of Casey Thompson.

In the next scene, everyone goes to sleep, except Marcel, Tre and Dale. It’s clear that the boys have been drinking and Marcel (drinking strait from a gin bottle) goes off on a gansta-style Dale-hating rant. Marcel and Dale are exchange some not-so-nice words and Dale walks away. Flash to Tre’s monologue: “I’ve definitely noticed over the weeks that… Marcel’s kind of an asshole.”

The chefs are woken up at 4:30am the next morning and in a haze of grogginess stumble into the kitchen only to find it empty, with the exception of a “gone fishing” sign and a note… telling the chefs to meet them in Montauk. Tiffani jumps up and down in excitement. Richard Blaise makes a comment that lets the viewers know that Toyota is sponsoring this episode of Top Chef.

This week’s Quickfire Challenge: There is no Quickfire Challenge!

The Elimination Challenge: The chefs head to Montauk and are split into four teams of 3. They’re given five hours to catch as many fish as they can, which they will cook and serve up to an end-of-summer beach party of 200. And get this: it's a double elimination!

Two teams per boat, here’s how they were divided:

Boat 1:
Team 1 – Jamie, Tiffani, Antonia

Team 3 – Dale, Tré, Carla

Boat 2:

Team 2 – Angelo, Tiffany, Mike

Team 4 – Marcel, Fabio, Richard

Boat 1: Antonia learns what it’s like to catch a big fish. Jamie likes to cook in a “back to basics” kind of way. Tiffany calls out Jamie as the weakest member. Dale catches a huge fish with all of his strength within the first 5 minutes. Dale hopes his fish will make his dad proud. Antonia catches the first fish on her team and screams like a 4^th grader.

Boat 2: Angelo hates the water. Two hours go by and the chefs haven’t caught a thing. Marcel looks seasick (hungover). Then Fabio and Mike catch the first 2 fish (simultaneously) on their boat and luck seems to spread to everyone else. Tiffany hopes her experience in a seafood restaurant will help her shine. Their trip finishes the way it started: Dale catches a ginormous striped bass that reminds him of Marcel (big head and little awkward body). Fabio, Richard & Marcel decide to cook one dish together. Richard let’s Marcel think he came up with the idea because it’s the best way to manage his ginormous ego.

After the fishing trip the chefs go to a farmer’s market to pick up the rest of their ingredients. Richard and Fabio have a little bromance goin’ and share a cute moment pulling a wagon together. Carla decides to make blue fish lettuce wraps that remind us of the poorly made summer rolls she whipped up last week – too similar?

Back at the chefs’ crash pad, Marcel starts drinking again and Dale and Tre miss their women.

The next day, the chefs head to their makeshift kitchens on the beach and start cooking. Jamie’s incessant complaining drives everyone crazy. Richard regrets agreeing to cooking a single dish with the boys – they should have done two. Angelo, Tiffany and Mike decide to create two dishes. Teams 1 & 3 are making 1 dish per chef. Richard bosses Fabio around a little too much.

The Judges Table

Team 2 (Tiffany, Angelo, Mike) and team 3 (Dale, Tre, Carla) are called to the Judges Table first. The prize is a fabulous trip to Amsterdam! And the winner is... Carla! Everybody do the hootie hoo.

Team 1 (Jamie, Tiffani, Antonia) and team 4 (Marcel, Fabio, Richard) are then sent back to the Judges Table. Marcel, Fabio and Richard get reamed by the judges for only cooking one dish and not doing it well – and Tom Colicchio slaps Richard on the hand for his behavior towards Fabio. The judges tell Antonia that she would have gone to Amsterdam if Jamie and Tiffani hadn’t performed so poorly. Owch…

In the end two chefs are asked to pack their knives… Tiffani, we’ll miss you. Farewell Jamie – you knew this was coming.

And next week: RESTAURANT WARS!!! The best part of every Top Chef season! And Anthony Bourdain is back!

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Top Chef All Stars – Episode 6: Who’s Ahead, Who’s Behind and Who Will Pack Their Knives in the End

A new episode of Bravo TV’s Top Chef All Stars airs tonight and I can’t imagine who isn’t eager to see which chef will be the next to depart. And while many have been hoping that this will be Jamie Lauren’s last round, I’d like to take a moment to look at season 8 of Top Chef from a more analytical approach – because I’m nerdy like that.

I did a little digging and found a chart in the Top Chef All Stars Wikipedia page that has tracked the performance of the chefs by episode. Wikipedia color-coded each ranking, but it was still difficult to figure out who was ahead and who was falling behind, so I assigned points to each one:

8 pts. = (WIN) The chef won that episode's Elimination Challenge.
7 pts. = (HIGH) The chef was selected as one of the top entries in the Elimination Challenge, but did not win.
1 pt. = (SAFE) The chef won the Quickfire Challenge, which exempted them from participation in the Elimination Challenge.
5 pts. = [IN (+)] The chef won a pair or team challenge but was not chosen as one of the judges' favorites.
4 pts. = [IN] The chef neither won nor lost that week's Elimination Challenge. They also were not up to be eliminated.
3 pts. = [IN (-)] The chef lost a pair or team challenge but was not selected as one of the judges' least favorites.
2 pts. = (LOW) The chef was selected as one of the bottom entries in the Elimination Challenge, but was not eliminated.
1 pt. = (OUT) The chef lost that week's Elimination Challenge and was out of the competition.

And after calculating the score, here is the actual ranking of the remaining chefs (from top to bottom):

Top Chef Standings

Angelo = 35

Richard = 30

Dale T. = 29

Fabio = 25

Carla = 23

Marcel = 23

Antonia = 22

Mike = 22
Jamie = 20
Tiffani = 19
Tiffany = 19
Tre = 19

I was shocked to find that Angelo had that much of a lead over everyone else. I was sure Richard would have been in first place. And while it appears that Jamie is ahead of Tiffani, Tiffany and Tre, that’s only because she hid behind a table in episode 4 to avoid competing. If she had competed in episode 4, she would have been up for elimination (minus 1 point) and probably sent home.

In tomorrow night’s Top Chef All Stars episode, "We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat", the chefs will head to the beach to catch and cook a fish dish for an end-of-summer beach party – and I would be surprised if this isn’t the episode that sends Jamie Lauren home with knives packed.

It’s not that I don’t think Chef Jamie capable of cooking a good fish, but fishing can be a high-pressure sport and we all know that she’s usually the first to crumble in high-stress situations. That said, Jamie is also a most amazing escape artist and could find a way to avoid the elimination round all together by:

1. Having someone do her work for her (like Antonia did in the last episode)

2. Hiding in the boat cabin bathroom (she hid behind a table in episode 4)

3. “Accidentally” falling overboard to escape competing all together (just like her 2-stich knife-incident in episode 2).

Either way, I’m not sure I can confidently predict Jamie’s departure tomorrow. Can you?

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