Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 16: "Maui Wowie."

And then there were four. The big question right now is who’s the fourth?

Who will it be?

Just to catch you up, Carlos got booted last week and had to face Louis in Last Chance Kitchen. Louis has momentum on his side by setting a record and winning 8 straight. Here’s the twist. This LCK is set in Maui. Yup. Both guys are already there. Winner gets to move on and loser gets to sit and sulk in a hotel room staring out at paradise.

The other LCK twist is that Nick, Shirley, and Nina get to taste their food and have a vote in who gets to advance. It was them, Tom, Emeril each getting a vote and majority wins. And of course, that LCK ends with a cliff hanger. We have no idea who won.

#GratuitousJoke

The three chefs arrive at what appears to be a welcoming party for them at the beach in Maui complete with hula girls in grass skirts. And yes, everyone got lei'd. 

Padma introduces this week’s guest, Chef Sam Choy. 

You know how every week after introducing the guest judge they would always play a clip of one of the chefs making a comment about how awesome the judge is? Yeah no such clip this week. Do they not know who he is?

Frankly I had to look him up myself. Apparently he founded “Pacific Rim cuisine” and is good friends with Emeril. He owns a bunch of restaurants, has a James Beard award, and is generally considered one of the elders of Hawaiian culinary landscape. An “Island” version of Emeril, if you will.

Twins!

The time has come to reveal who gets to join the party. Any guesses?

It’s Louis. Dude has been crushing opponents in Last Chance Kitchen and few weeks ago made what Tom said was the “best tasting dish” he’s had all season. So suddenly we have a new formidable opponent.

I’m glad it’s Louis. Knowing his pedigree of having worked for Chef Thomas Keller I would like to see what he can bring to the table. Also I’m damn sick of Mexican food.

As the saying goes, “There’s not a moment to lose.” Time for the Quickfire.

Such a thing exists.

Since we’re in Hawaii, this challenge is going to feature one of their most popular food products. This state consumes more of this product per capita than any other. It’s so popular, even the Hawaiian McDonalds and Burger King have menu items featuring this stuff. We’re of course, talking about Spam.

The chefs have 30 minutes to come up with a special way to highlight Spam. The judges want creativity on top of having a tasty dish. Obviously immunity is not up for discussion at this point. However since this is a product sponsored challenge, the winner will get 10 thousand bucks.

Go.

Louis is super confident. Apparently he’s done some research and figured out since they’re in Hawaii, Spam’s gonna be involved. Also because of the nature of Last Chance Kitchen, he’s basically won 8 Quickfires in a row. He’s used to the 30 minutes on the fly type of cooking. He’s making Spam mousse. Only since this is Top Chef, he’s calling it a torchon. I can’t imagine anything more disgusting sounding.

So many questions!

The crowds are getting on Louis’ nerves. They kept asking him inane questions about his dish and with only 30 minutes he really rather be cooking than playing Q&A. They’re getting on my nerves as well. Hey if you don’t know what a torchon is you should be allowed at a Top Chef event.

Nina decides to go with teriyaki Spam. I had no idea Spam came in different flavors. She’s going to make croquettes using bread fruit. She tells us that, since she grew up on a island she knows how to use these exotic ingredients. #WeGetItAlready

Shirley is making a deconstructed musubi. Musubi is basically spam sushi. Yup. You heard that correctly. A slab of grilled Spam on top of sushi rice and the wrapped with nori. It’s one of the most popular way of eating Spam in Hawaii. Shirley’s idea of creative is to basically making an “open faced” version. 

It's always heaven at 7 Eleven.

Nick’s making Spam bouillon with mushroom ragu. One of the judges’ biggest complain about him throughout the season has been under seasoning his food. He’s not going to have that problem this challenge. Spam itself is already a salt bomb, so no worries there! 

The production crew must have never thought someone would make a soup because while everyone else got to serve on nice white plates, Nick had to use plastic Tupperware containers.

Let’s see what these guys manage to do with Spam.

Shirley - Deconstructed Spam Musubi with Spam-Infused Rice, Nori & Cucumber Slaw.

Presentation is everything.

Louis - Spam Mousse with Garlic, Chives, Scallions, Snap Peas, Beech Mushrooms & Togarashi.

Nick - Spam Broth with Pancetta, Seaweed, Dried Shrimp, Clam Juice & Quail Egg.

Nina - Breadfruit & Teriyaki Spam Croquette with Sour Orange & Mango Slaw.

Chef Choy thought Nick’s Spam broth was a bit too salty, but the quail egg on top smoothed everything out. Tom agrees.

Nina’s sour slaw provided the acid to cut through the fried aspect of the dish. And Padma really likes the use of breadfruit.

Carlos’ mousse was creative alright, but not enough Spam flavor for Chef Choy. What the hell is Spam flavor?

Anyone who owns a cat knows what I'm talking about.

Shirley’s musubi was well…a musubi. Though tasty, not that creative.

The winner is Nick. Talk about creativity. Making a delicious Spam soup is hella outside the box. This is his first big ticket item win and it couldn’t have come at a better time. 10 thousand dollars for him. He’s totally excited but not distracted. He said he would trade the 10 grand for a spot in the finale in heartbeat. 

Speaking of which, here’s the final Elimination challenge before the finale.

Is "canoe crop" euphemism for boat full of naked dudes?

The judges explain that Hawaii is one of the most remote islands in the world and the natives had no choice but to be self sufficient. The first Polynesians brought with them on a canoe chickens, pigs, and 24 species of plants and fruits. These ingredients are known locally as “canoe crops.”

Their challenge is to make a dish using only “canoe crops.” (And apparently fish as well, even though fish was not mentioned.)

Here’s the shocker - only two chefs will be moving on to the finale. Yup. Double elimination.

An actual canoe rolls up with these “canoe crop” ingredients and the chefs run towards the shore to gather up what they need. Shirley takes a tumble along the way and almost got ran over by Louis. 

#Foreshadowing

Nina is super confident. Having this challenge set in Maui with these ingredients is almost like having home court advantage for her. Because you see, she’s from an island. #DeadHorse

Nina, Louis, and Nick are all making fish. But Nina makes the mistake and starts portioning off Nick’s pink snapper instead of her own moonfish. So now she’s behind in her prep. Maybe she’s getting a little over confident?

With this limited amount of ingredients to work with, Shirley’s afraid everyone’s dish is going to taste the same. So now she’s glad that she chose pork instead of fish. Her dish will definitely stand out from the rest.

Prep day is over. They’ll have two hours tomorrow to finalize their dish before service. Time for some R & R.

The gang checks into their hotel suite with the swank view. Nick gets the room with the king sized bed, the girls took the room with two queen beds, and Carlos gets an office with a pull out bed. Guess the Last Chance Kitchen champion is still considered second class citizen.

Oh you knew this was coming.

Time for some filler material. The foursome goes for a hike and some introspective reflection time. I don’t understand what the big deal about Hawaii. It looks hot and damp there. Plus, I heard it’s expensive. #Grouch

Next day, it’s time to cook. They’ve got just two hours before service. Even though the event is held at Merriman’s restaurant, they are once again cooking outside. 

Just when everyone’s getting into a cooking rhythm, here comes Tom for the Cook ’n Chat.

Much like Nina, Shirley is also really confident. When Tom ask how would she feel if she fell short today and her answer was “I won’t fall short.” In fact, the girls believe they are the ones to beat. 

Both Louis and Nick are not nearly as sure. Nick even tried to play, ‘let’s make a deal’ by offering the 10 grand up for a spot in the finale. Tom says no.

Wrong guy. Wrong show. No deal.

Just before Tom leaves, he tells them the winning dish/chef of this challenge will also have a decided advantage going into the finale. Consider the ante upped.

As if on cue, it starts to rain. Everyone’s scrambling to cover their mise en place and fryers. And it’s not just rain. This being a tropical storm, it is also windy. Ever tried to grill something with open flames in the wind? Yeah, it’s hard to control your heat. 

Louis is worried because the fish he’s using (moonfish) is difficult to cook well, so the wind is giving him a level of difficulty he didn’t need. 

The flip side of a tropical storm is that as quickly as it comes, it ends just as quickly. So while it was a pain in the ass, the pain was short lived. Back to the regularly scheduled cooking.

Here comes the judges.

This weeks VIP includes Peter Merriman (of Merriman’s Kapulua) Emeril, and a pregnant Gail! I wonder if that’s one of the reasons no one is serving their fish raw? Or did they learn their Sam Talbot lesson?

Let’s eat.

Fish and Seaweed.

Louis - Grilled Opah (Moonfish) with Sweet Potato & Coconut Sauce.

According to Chef Merriman, Sam Choy was the one who promoted the use of this particular fish and made it popular. He thought Louis’ fish was cooked perfectly and Emeril thought the usage of canoe ingredients was well done. Remember the wind and the flames? Well it’s come back to bite him. Tom’s fish was underdone and Gail’s was over. Judges do not like inconsistency! 

Fish and Seaweed.

Nina - Grilled Opah with Taro Root & Coconut Puree.

Unlike Louis, Nina confit her fish before finishing it on the grill. So she didn’t have to cook the fish through purely by flame. Her fish came out perfectly cooking all around. Judges thought her sauce might have been a bit too spicy and may have over powered the fish.

Nick - Opakapaka (Pink Snapper) with Jalapeño & Crispy Chicken Skin.

Notice a pattern?

Nick might have hit a home run here. Chef Merriman thought the jalapeño was a bit much, he got shot down right away by Tom and the rest of the table. Ha. Seems like the judges are surprised that Nick came through with this dish. Padma say maybe Hawaii relaxed him into not overthinking and complicating dishes.

Shirley - Honey Glazed Pork with Sweet Potato & Tumeric Puree.

Tom thought the pork was beautifully braised, the puree was well done and the sauce was flavorful. The only problem is that it’s too sweet. The honey with the sweet potato was just a little too much. 

Look! Something different!

During the interlude Chef Choy explains the gaseous properties of the breadfruit. So here’s a #protip, take a few Beanos before having too much breadfruit. #BlueFlameAction

Service is over. It’s out of their hands now. Louis says he had hard day because those fish (opah) was hard to cook. Nina just looks at him. She didn’t have any problems cooking that fish. 

Nick says it’ll all come down to a small mistake here or there. Maybe Padma was right. There’s something very Zen about him. It seems almost like during the break (between the last episode and Maui) he went off to the mountains and meditated or something. 

Oh look who also make the trek to Maui! The Flat Screen of Doom! Welcome back buddy. We missed ya!

The trip must have tired the Flat Screen out. It wasn't so “doomy.” Tom basically says everyone had a strong dish and it all comes down to small mistakes.

Nick had strong dish. The only ding was possibly the jalapeño, but that complaint came from someone other than our judges so it carries little weight. The other three? Not so lucky.

Nina’s was slightly too spicy, Shirley’s too sweet, and Louis’ fish was inconsistent. 

Here comes Padma. They want to see all of them.

Having gotten a preview of what her complaint was, Shirley comes up with this ridiculous story of how she wanted to show them how sweet Maui made her feel. Yeah. In the immortal words of Elaine Benes,  “No one's gonna buy it, and you shouldn't be selling it.”

Louis’ fish wasn’t cooked consistently. Judges are paying him compliments for busting through Last Chance Kitchen the way he did but there’s no way he had one of the top two dishes. When someone tells you it was a “gutsy” effort, you’re probably going home.

Nina wanted to showcase the island flavors. The flavors she grew up with. Tom agrees. He says this is the kind of food they’ve expected from her. And since day one she’s been continuously cooking strong and exciting food. But not so fast, Padma jumps in and points out that it might have been too spicy. There goes the smile.

Nick is at peace with himself and it shows in his dish. Instead of keep trying to showcase his talents by coming up with over complicated dishes, he just took what was given and worked with it. It’s not to say he made simple food. Tom says there’s still a lot going on but everything made sense. He is quietly confident. No mention of the jalapeño.

Time for the judges to deliberate.

It’s pretty obviously who won this challenge and who’s going home. The question now is whether Shirley or Nina gets to move on. 

We know who Emeril’s lobbying for. Ever since the Vietnam episode where Shirley “found her voice” at the docks, her and Emeril have had this bond. Emeril tries to sell the rest of the judges on the deliciousness of Shirley’s pork while taking jabs at Nina’s too spicy fish.

C'mon. Shirley calls me "Uncle Emeril."

Meanwhile Tom is being objective. He emphasizes that it all comes down to the mistakes. He thinks Shirley’s mistake was the honey. It made the entire dish too one note. It needed a little more sourness or acidity to break up the sweetness.

It’s gonna be close.

You know, if someone told me even a few weeks ago that Nick is going to the finale I’d say they were crazy. But here we are. Nick wins the challenge and is the first one to advance. And he’ll get to have an advantage over whoever’s following suit.

Louis is crushed. It’s tough having won 8 challenges in a row only to show up empty handed. I think the nerves got to him because he had the same problem cooking fish with his challenge against Carlos. Great flavors bailed him there. But this time, against superior opponents he fell short. 

So who’s it gonna be. Shirley or Nina? It’s such a tough call because both have been killing it all season long. They had totally thought it would be Ladies Night at the finale until Nick decided to get his mind right and spoil the party. 

It goes to Nina. Shirley comes up short and in third place.

Look at it this way. Shirley have already won a moral victory. Through this competition she’s the only one who “found herself” and evolved into being more than just a “shadow chef.” She will undoubtedly be able to run her own kitchen/restaurant and be very successful at it. Not to mention the car and the cash that she won along the way. She’s going to be alright.

Since day one with them turtle meatballs Nina has made it clear that she’s a machine. Technically sound and bold with the flavors, she busts out amazing food week after week. She’s definitely earned the right to be in the finale. 

The table is set. The Island Terminator versus the Redemptive Hot Head. Who’s it gonna be?

Next week. Mano-a-Mano.

Although I can’t tell you who’s gonna win it all, I can tell you one thing - there will NOT some arena style mock Iron Chef type of B.S. finale. From the preview it looks like we’ll have one of those, ‘pick some team mates and make the “best meal ever” type of deal.’ 

How are you planning to watch the finale? 

One more week to go. Let’s do this!!

[Written by Mykl Wu]

Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 10: "Like Mama Made."

Now that you’ve brought mama into this. I guess this time it’s personal.

Um. There's something on my forehead.

Sara’s gone. Now there’s more room in the bathroom for everyone else to get ready. 

Justin’s super relieved. He knows he barely survived Restaurant Wars. Had Sara not been so unpleasant and annoyed Padma, we’d still have a crowded bathroom.

Travis is feeling pretty good about himself right now. After a really strong showing at the restaurant manager position, he feel like he’s finally part of the gang. Um, last time I checked this was called Top Chef and not Top Restaurant Manager. 

Ugh. If I have to listen to Travis talking about his sexuality I’m going to scream. Because you know what? It has nothing to do with anything! 

Bourdain once said, “Male, female, gay, straight, legal, illegal, country of origin—who cares? You can either cook an omelet or you can’t. You can either cook five hundred omelets in three hours—like you said you could, and like the job requires—or you can’t. There’s no lying in the kitchen.”

Shut up and cook. Oh wait. I don't even cook anymore.

Speaking of which. Time to get back to the kitchen.

Standing next to Padma is owner/chef of the French restaurant Fleur-De-Lys in San Francisco, Hubert Keller! Chef Keller is a James Beard Award winner and a Top Chef Masters Alum. I’m guessing culinary chops aside, he’s here because of the connection between the name of his restaurant and the iconic New Orleans symbol.

By the way, aside from being a bad ass chef, Hubert Keller can be seen spinning records and dropping needles from time to time. He’d been known to guest deejay at various food events in San Francisco and Las Vegas. Talk about the world’s most interesting man! 

You know what brand is always associated with New Orleans and Top Chef caliber food? Dunkin Donuts! Um..ok. Not really. But since we’ve already had Philadelphia Cream Cheese on, so what the hell. Let’s just do this.

The world's most interesting shirt.

At least coffee is widely used in cooking and it does provide a unique flavor profile so there are culinary elements to this challenge. Chefs will have 30 minutes to create a dish featuring Bostonians’ favorite coffee, Dunkin Donuts. (Really. I used to live there and they swear by this stuff. I can’t even...)

Since this is a sponsored challenge, winner gets immunity AND ten thousand dollars. See, selling out has its perks. 

Stephanie says that everything she owns is “old and kinda sad looking and broken.” You know what? I actually felt kinda bad for her. 

Mad scramble time.

Carrie is going to make dessert. I thought that sort of missed the point. Anyone can make a coffee-flavored dessert, the trick is to pair with something savory. Oh well, Carlos is making dessert too. At least he’s doing that “cooking a sponge cake via microwave” thingy so that’s pretty impressive. For some of you who haven’t seen that before check it out here.

Shirley’s using beef. Now that’s smart. Coffee always pairs well with red meat. Somehow it manages to bring out the beefy flavor of steaks. If she wins, Shirley’s going to buy an air conditioner because she claims it gets to be about 150 degrees in Las Vegas. For 10 grand, that air conditioner better come with a set of wheels and a small engine.

Brian is making risotto. Coffee risotto. Has the dude never watched the show before? Talk about pushing your luck. Guess he also like to walk under ladders, open umbrellas indoors, and watch nondescript old VHS videotapes with the word “copy” on it. Doesn’t he know risotto is cursed? Ah. Brian is confident because he’s won back-to-back Quickfires so he says he’s gotta “put his balls out there...let it swing.” Ew. Congrats. You’ve just replaced Travis as the creepy guy on the show.

Times up. Let’s see how they did.

Travis - Alaskan Sockeye Salmon, Coffee Ponzu, & Coffee Roasted Eringi Mushrooms.

Dude pretty much sliced up raw salmon and mixed some coffee with ponzu and called it a day. We get it! You only make Asian stuff! Oy.

That's just not right.

Carrie - Coffee Custard with Candied Coffee Beans & Cocoa Nibs.

This is how you play the game. Carrie didn’t have time to make crepes, so she changed it to a simple custard with NO mention of the omitted crepes. #Protip.

Brian - Coffee Risotto with Andouille Sausage & Sugar Snap Peas.

You don’t need to be a gourmand to realize this combination sounds disgusting. You know what’s even more disgusting? Having the person who just cooked your food show you how sweaty he is. #NoThanks

Carlos - Coffee & Macadamia Sponge Cake with Mascarpone Coffee Sauce.

Sounds like a winner here. But it is a dessert. It’s kinda like cheating.

Nick - Roasted Sockeye Salmon with Hazelnut Coffee Caramel & Hon-Shimeji Mushrooms.

This one's at least cooked.

Where are all these exotic mushrooms coming from?? As part of his ‘presentation’ Nick pours the foamy chocolate sauce on top of the salmon right in front of the judges. 

Shirley - Coffee Crusted Tenderloin with Garlic Puree & Coffee Brown Butter Sauce.

Just in case they forgot Shirley feels the need to remind everyone that she’s Asian and that apparently Asians drink coffee with a lot of cream? Speaking as an Asian person, I have no idea what she’s talking about.

Stephanie - Sweet Potato & Goat Cheese Crepe with Ham & Bacon Coffee Jam.

Ham AND Bacon. Guess there’s no such thing as too much pork product in a dish. Sweet and salty, plus some coffee, it could be delicious. Also, she’s poor. #LetHerWin

You guys, I want a makeover!

The fails are Brian and Nick. No surprise on Brian’s dish. But Nick, who won Restaurant Wars last week, delivered a bomb. Chef Keller found his paste “unpleasant.” #Womp.

Carrie’s custard, Shirley’s tenderloin, and Stephanie’s Crepes are amongst the favorites. Alas, Stephanie will have to continue to look like a bum, as Shirley takes home the immunity and the 10 grand for her Asian influenced coffee rubbed tenderloin. I still have no idea what being Asian as anything to do with that dish. But hey, it’s gonna be ice cold at Casa Shirley this summer!

Elimination Challenge time.

Padma tells everyone that for this challenge, “Going home is a good thing.” 

In walks New Orleans native actor Anthony Mackie. Anthony is probably best known for his role on the Oscar winning film, The Hurt Locker. He also recently hung out with Tom Colicchio on Tom’s fishing show on the Reserve Channel via YouTube, 'On the Hook.' 

No need for a makeover here!

For Anthony, this is a homecoming. And the food he craves most when he returns to New Orleans is from Dooky Chase. For the cheftestants, this challenge will be a culinary homecoming as well. They will have to draw inspiration from home and create something they crave whenever they’re home. 

They will have $275 and 2 hours to cook in the Top Chef kitchen. The next day they make the pilgrimage to Dooky Chase, where they will cook for the judges and Leah Chase. Leah appeared earlier this season and judged the gumbo Quickfire. Cooking homey comforting food for Leah Chase? They’ll have their work cut out for them.

If any challenge is about cooking from your heart, this would be it. 

Because of the nature of the challenge, this is the perfect time to work in everyone’s back story. 

We learn that Justin used to hunt and eat squirrels. He’s making rice and gravy and substituting chicken thighs for squirrels. I don’t care what you really crave when you go home, because serving rice and gravy to Leah Chase is like serving blanquette de veau to Paul Bocuse. Go ahead and Google that. I’ll wait.

Hunting squirrels?! (I know he's a chipmonk, people)

Carrie’s reminiscing driving around and foraging wild asparagus with her mom. Her dish is creamed asparagus with egg on toast. Hey, no knocking the simplicity in this challenge. It’s all about simple, homey foods!

Speaking of simple dishes, Travis is going with straight biscuits and gravy. Yup, that’s it. Biscuits and gravy. Somehow I can’t help wonder what someone like Michael Voltaggio would come up with. You know no matter that would be it’d be some kinda amazing, “air quote,” biscuits and gravy dish. Sigh. I’d give all the gravy for a Voltaggio on this season.

In case you missed it, and I don’t know how you could have, Nina’s from an tropical island. And that means curry and spices. Thank you Nina. Wait, now where is Shirley from again? 

Right...she’s from that foreign exotic land in the Far East. Some call it the Central Kingdom, others call it Land of Our Creditors. For Shirley, it’s simply China. So for this challenge, she’s going to out of her comfort zone like she always has and making something called Jajanmyeon. It’s basically a Chinese version of pasta bolognese. Whatever it is, you can bet Tom wouldn’t known how to pronounce it.

Adorable alert! Nick is making his daughter’s favorite dish, “gnudie.” He’s actually making gnocchi, but his daughter calls them “gnudie” because it reminds her of bath time when she has to get nudie. Ok I don’t have kids and I don’t know the rules - so all this talk of nude babies is making me uncomfortable.

Put some clothe on kid!

Stephanie’s home craving is a big bowl of mussels? I’m calling foul right now because who the hell’s family’s go-to dish is a bowl of mussels? She says that since her family didn’t cook, that’s what she made for peeps and thus it’s what she associates with going home. Guess I’ll buy into that. Plus, mussels are cheap and we all know about her financial situation…

Carlos is making something called cochinita pibil. It’s a pork shank stew with black beans and homemade tortillas. Yeah it’s pretty much sounds like everything Carlos’ ever made. Whatever. 

Brian has previously told us he’s from a wealthy family. So naturally his home craving meal is freaking grilled New York Strip. Tom looked amused. While everyone else is making humble food like rice and beans and biscuits and gravy, dude over here grew up eating steak. Maybe he can buy Stephanie some new clothes.

Big pot of love right there!

First day of cooking is done. The gang returns home to a delicious smell from the kitchen. Surprise! The Grand Poobah of New Orleans, Emeril Lagasse, decides to share his homecoming comfort meal with the chefs. He made a big pot of caldo verde. A simple Portuguese soup of onion, celery, kale, and love. That’s right. Love!

There was no need for this scene. There’s no product tie-in, no forced back story, no scripted drama, just one mentor chef wanting to feed his fellow flock who’s been working all day something warm and comforting - just like what Emeril’s mom did for him back in the day. That my friends, is love. #Respect

You can tell the chefs appreciate it too. While Emeril’s chatting them up and asking about tomorrow’s dishes, everyone’s heads are down in their bowls, tucked in, feeling the love. 

After a long day’s cooking to come home to a simple and delicious bowl of soup with crusty baguettes and pats of butter, I’m telling you right now that is a lot of chefs’ dream of a last meal.

Can't talk. Too busy eating.

You know how when you’re little and got into a fight at school, you always manage to not cry and keep your brave face on until you get home. And the tears fly the moment you see mom? Yeah that’s what happening here. Everyone is tired, worn out, and now coming home to “Uncle” Emeril’s comforting soup, tears start to fly.

Brian tells us about his dad’s massive stroke and how he feels guilty for not having around been there enough for him. Since then his dad doesn’t talk much anymore, that opportunity might be lost. Somebody grab the tissue box. While you’re at it, pass me one too.

*tear*

No doubt inspired by the soup and crusty bread experience, the gang talks about their hypothetical death row meals. Nic says bread and butter (see, he can die happy now) and Justin says caviar, champagne, and tacos. The atmosphere is loose and seems like for the evening, everyone forgets they’re in a competition.

The next morning, it’s Nick’s turn. He feels guilty missing a lot of his daughter’s first year. The first steps, first words, basically he missed everything because he was working so much. Eyes starts well up. Somebody pass him the tissue box.

I’d say there’s no crying in Top Chef again, for the umpteenth time, but apparently that doesn’t apply to this season. So let’s just get to the food while we can before people get emotional again.

Here you go Brian!

Dooky Chase.

This legendary restaurant has been visited by numerous presidents and dignitaries. What started out as merely a bathroom and sandwich shop became a meeting place of entertainment, music, and civil rights in New Orleans. One pays homage to Dooky Chase when one’s in town. That’s an order.

The chefs will have 1 hour to finish their dish. A lot can go wrong in an hour.

For example. Brian discovers that there are no grills of any kind at Dooky Chase. So his original plan of making Korean-style strip steak with a sugar marinade for the crust is out the window. Hard to get caramelization without a proper grill. He’s going to have pan grill the steaks. Outlook hazy.

Travis’ biscuits are not turning out the way his test biscuit did yesterday. See, the kitchen at Dooky Chase is just a little be warmer than the Top Chef kitchen. And if you ever made biscuits you’ll know that the success of a biscuit relies on the temperature of your butter. Warm, soft butter = terrible biscuits. So while the outside appears okay, the inside of the biscuit is raw. The only thing he can do is to slice them in half and cover the mistake with gravy. Trouble ahead.

The judges are here. Time to eat.

See. George Bush cares about Dooky Chase.
Just not the rest of New Orleans.

Leah tells the table about how she ended up in the kitchen. When she first married her husband, Edgar Dooky Chase, Jr., she came to be a waitress. But soon she stepped into the kitchen to show everyone a bit of her influences and background, and in the kitchen she stayed. Now she is known as the Queen of Creole Cuisine. 

Since we’re all in the sharing mood, Anthony Mackie tells us that growing up his family only had gumbo twice a year, a cheap one and a “good” one. See, the good gumbo can cost upwards to $250 a pot, so they only had that once a year. The other one had the little shrimps, no crabs, and chicken wings. That one only cost $50. I gotta say, Anthony Mackie is one charming and well-spoken man. #ManCrush

First up. Carlos, Brian, and Travis.

Looks like everything Carlos ever made.

Carlos - Cochinita Pibil with Black Beans, Orange Pico De Gallo & Corn Tortilla.

Brian - Korean BBQ New York Strip with Potato Salad.

Travis - Biscuits with Maple Sage Sausage Gravy & Sour Plum Jam.

Everyone loves the flavor of Travis’ gravy, but as suspected, the biscuit is raw. Not even the delicious gravy can hide that fact. Emeril puts it perfectly when he said, “If you’re gonna serve biscuit at this table, it better be spot on man.”

Little puglet! More tissues please!

As usual, Carlos’ made something rich, balanced, and super delicious. He just keeps bringing his style of elevated Mexican food every round. 

Brian’s lack of a charcoal grill, or any grill for that matter, is hurting him. It’s hard to sell the judges on a Korean BBQ flavor without the char that’s usually associated with it. That and it’s too sweet.

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen Nick is still emotional. He’s missing his family. Ok, I know the whole “no crying in Top Chef” thingy is out the window, but who the hell cries in the middle of service? Wait. It doesn’t just stop there, Nick is actually getting choked up while explaining his dish to the judges!

If you're getting this look from Padma...#WIN

Nick - Ricotta Gnudi with Pancetta, Peas, Lemon & Parmesan.

Shirley - Beijing Noodles, Fermented Bean & Pork Sauce with Pickled Radish.

Stephanie - Mussels with Spicy Pickled Peppers & Tomatoes.

Well, tears or not, Nick’s love for his family shows through in this dish. Padma loves the soft and pillowy gnudi, and everyone loves the crispy pancetta that provides some texture.

Shirley's dish is also spot on. Usually this dish comes with julienned cucumber to provide some crunch and balance against the highly seasoned fermented bean paste, here she used pickled radishes. Smart move.

Stephanie’s mussels are perfectly cooked. The surprise here is the pickled peppers in broth. Tom says he’s never had that combination before. And if you can surprise Tom (in a good way,) then you’re looking pretty good.

Last round.

Say! I would eat them anywhere! Need ham though.

Justin - Louisiana Rice with Chicken Thigh Gravy, Pickled Mirliton & Jalapeño.

Carrie - Creamed Asparagus over Toast & Poached Egg.

Nina - Curried Chicken with Fried Bakes

You can never gone wrong putting an perfectly cooked egg on top of something. It’s almost like bacon. As long as the yolk’s still warm and running, it’ll make everything tastes good. That’s what Carrie’s done here. The yolk mixes with the asparagus cream and turns the toasted bread into that perfect consistency of soft and crunchiness. It was a table pleaser.

Nina’s Nina. It’s now a foregone conclusion that her dish is good. However, I get the feeling she’s starting to be strategic about her dishes and is now coasting. Don’t expect her to take many chances.

Oh oh. Mean Girl Padma's here.
How quickly she can turn on you!

Justin is serving a traditional southern Louisiana dish to a table of folks who grew up eating southern Louisiana food. If that chicken and gravy isn’t perfect, he’ll get dinged for it. Guess what? It’s good, but not perfect. He’s gonna get dinged.

Dinner’s over. I gotta say this was the one episode so far where the judges pretty much enjoyed every dish. There were no egregious mistakes. It’s going to be hard for the judges.

During the interlude Tom and Anthony brought up potted meat. Apparently during their fishing expedition Anthony tried to get Tom to eat the “delicacy” and Tom say NOPE. He refuses to eat something that the law says it must declare “mechanically separated meat.” C’mon Tom! It’s like industrial pate, almost like charcuterie! 

Freddie Kruger called.

Back in the stew room, everyone feels really confident about their performance today. Brian says it’s going to be hard getting sent home this week because the challenge was so personal. They really put a piece of themselves out there.

That’s why the Flat Screen of Doom has been replace by the Flat Screen of Love. The judges loved everything. Each dish was brought up and someone had something positive to say. I love episodes like this where Tom is proud of the chefs and their dishes. Too often when the dishes suck Tom is embarrassed and have to talk about how hard the challenge is. Not today. Kudos all around.

However, there can only be one winner. This week, the emotional gnudi prevails. One of the best compliments Emeril can give a dish is when he says he can feel the love. It’s so funny how my personal perception of Emeril has evolved. He’s gone from that showy television chef who yells “Bam!” while throwing raw spices over everything, to the gentle Gandalf-ian Master Chef he is today. So much love.

Oh why not. Everyone else is doing it.

Now for the bad news. Someone is going home for putting their fondest home food memory out there.

Travis, Brian, and Justin all get called to the bad side of judges’ table. Travis for his raw biscuits, Brian for his uncharred steaks, and Justin for dried out chicken. All three dishes were good, but this was the wrong week to not be perfect.

One last tissue for you.

In the end, Travis just can’t hide from raw biscuits. You know, all season long he declared his expertise in cooking Asian food. And every week he would manage to draw Asian influences into his dish. The one week where he made something as “American” as biscuits and gravy, he gets sent home. That’s what I call irony. Maybe he should have made Asian biscuits. *rimshot*

So long Travis! 

Next week, the gang takes a field trip to LSU. Geaux Tigers!


Written by Mykl Wu 

Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 9:"Restaurant Wars!"

Finally! It’s time for Restaurant Wars!

It’s always one of the most anticipated challenges for both viewers and cheftestants. No gimmick, no promotional tie-ins, just straight up cooking and hospitality. 

In Chang We Trust

With that said, it’s time to bring in the big gun. In walks none other than mister no muss, no fuss, just make delicious food, bad ass and my personal hero, David Chang! 

For those of you who don’t know David Chang (you’re probably not here reading this then) he is arguably one of the founding fathers of modern day food culture. His first restaurant, Momofuku, was a closet-sized ramen joint in the lower east side of New York City. Now the brand Momofuku is a global empire, with restaurants in Toronto and Sydney. His influence on food culture extends beyond the kitchen. He has won Beard Awards not only for cooking, but for his television show “The Mind of a Chef” and his magazine Lucky Peach. Ok enough gushing about him. 

His advice, “Plan on everything going wrong.”

This team's got ALL the wins.

They will divide into teams of five. Time to draw knives.

Right away the teams seem lopsided. The Green Team consists of Carlos, Sara, Justin, Nina, and Shirley. That’s a helluva lot of wins and talent on one team. Meanwhile, The Purple Team’s got Nick, Carrie, Brian, Travis, and Stephanie. Not exactly cream of the crop here. Even Nick’s worried. He compared his team to the Bad News Bears. Hey, didn’t the Bad News Bears win? #Foreshadowing?

They will have only 24 hours to build their pop-up from the ground up. That means, fixtures, menus, even the kitchen itself. The twist this season? Each team must name an executive chef and a general manager (front of the house). It’s interesting because in past seasons the judges and teams kinda figure that out as they went along. This time the position will be named, and whoever takes the title will have a bullseye on their back if the team goes down. 

"How the hell are we going to beat them?"

Wait. What is this? Ugh. I spoke too soon. Apparently there will be a VIP table of Chase Sapphire Card members who will also get to eat at both restaurants. In this day and age where a restaurant’s emphasis is “everyone’s a VIP,” it’s totally hypocritical for the producers to pull something like this. Shameful.

The Green team decides on the concept of “Modern American.” I’m rolling my eyes because that the most vague concept title you can come up with nowadays. However, in a way that is smart because you can pretty much throw anything on the menu and still be considered “Modern American.” Sheesh.

The Purple team quickly decides on a seafood theme. They’re gonna call their joint, “Fin.” Travis jumps in and volunteers to be the general manager. He felt the need to stereotype himself by stating that “gays belong in the front of the house!” I have no idea why he’s so creepy.

Over on the Green team, the four people who can cook decides that Sara should be the general manager. Um, that’s right Sara. They don’t want you anywhere NEAR the kitchen. #Womp

Sara, I don't trust you or your hair.

Instead of discussing their dishes, the Green team decides to focus on the “feel” of the restaurant. They’re talking about what kind of plates, types table cloth, wrought-iron accents and flowers. Carlos is confused. Hell, I’m confused. This isn’t HGTV people!  Justin steps up as the executive chef. He’s been preparing for this since he was 16 years old. Um dude’s 32 years old. Top Chef hasn’t been around that long! 

The gang travels to check out The Foundry, their space for the pop-up. The Foundry’s basically a giant warehouse equipped for weddings, receptions, parties, and yes, pop-up dinners. 

The Purple team still needs an executive chef. Anyone?  

Executive chef? 

Not all at once guys! Heh. So this is a competition to find the TOP chef and peeps in this group is shying away from even being the executive chef of Restaurant Wars. Might as well go home now kids! 

The only person who’s qualified is probably Nick. Good thing he decides to step up. Travis has the nerve to ask if Nick’s done this before. Jesus, how can you be on Top Chef if you’ve never been an executive chef before?? 

After checking out the venue, the chefs head over to their event planning place where they can pick out chairs, plates, etc. Yeah, this is where you have to make some very important decisions. But you know what else is important? Your menu! While discussing what serving dishes they need, the Green team realizes that they have no idea who’s making what. But Justin doesn’t want to talk about that right now. 

Dude’s got a short fuse.

Here's...your executive chef!

We saw this last week when he got angry at other chefs for using the fire he built. Nina thought he was going to “choke somebody out.” Yeah, as the season goes on we’re finding out a little more of each chef’s personality. I guess all work no play makes Justin a dull boy. Yes, you're welcome.

As per past seasons, half of the teams head off to Whole Foods for the dainty stuff while the other half heads to the restaurant depot for the cheap stuff. 

Brian tells us he’s making scallop crudo and serving it with purple corn gel. Ooooh boys and girls, he’s going to use agar agar for the gel! He feels this dish is very “new and different so it’ll definitely stand out to the judges.” Somewhere, Wylie Dufresne is laughing his head off. Wylie’s got Eggs Benedicts older than you, son!

Time to assemble their kitchen and start cooking.

2006 Top Chef called. They want their phone back.

It’s funny. Carlos just asked Justin what he was going to make. This is not a good sign. Usually the chefs plan out a cohesive menu. This has a “every man for himself” kinda feel to it. Still, on paper the Green team is super strong. Nina’s making a pork tenderloin, Shirley poaching fish, Carlos is making snapper, and Sara ended up with dessert. She’s making a butter cake with a five spice mascarpone cheese. If they just make the food they’ve been making all season long, this should be a cake walk. 

However, Justin and Sara is not getting along. Miss Bossy pants over there is playing armchair chef as usual. That combined with Justin’s short fuse makes...let’s just say an uncomfortable working environment. 

Body language experts...go.

Meanwhile, Richard Blais wanna be (Brian) over there picked up xantham gum instead of agar agar. His “gel” is going to be less of a gel and more of a “paste.” Think the difference between jello and toothpaste. Yeah, it’s gonna taste like (pick your expletive).

Day 1 is over. The chefs retreat back to the house for more strategizing for tomorrow’s “war.” At night, Justin explains to Sara exactly how he wants the ordering tickets written, “It’s going to be about communication tomorrow. And executing.” Good luck buddy.

Next day. They have 4 hours to set up the entire restaurant, cook the food, and train the servers. That’s a LOT to get done in that short amount of time. Both Sara and Travis are setting up the tables and talking to their servers. Right away you can tell that Sara’s “sunny” disposition is contagious. Her servers are looking around, not paying attention, and generally lost. While Travis seems to have been assigned a different team of peeps. They’re attentive, taking notes, and having a great time. 

"PAIN"

Back in the kitchen, Justin is about to lose it. After spending all that time talking about plates, dude doesn’t have the plates he need for his consume. The rest of the team’s just kinda looking away and keeping to themselves. Not a good sign.

Here comes the guests. Time for war. Any predictions Mister T?

Egregiousness of the day. Restaurant and Hospitality God Danny Meyers is joining the Chase Sapphire card member’s VIP table. Of all people Danny Meyers knows that there are no such thing as VIPs because his philosophy is to treat everybody like a VIP. I’m sure he’s there under protest. Note to self: Get a Chase Sapphire Card for a chance to dine with Danny freaking Meyers!

Our Chase Sapphire Ad has been more fun than the show!

The Green team’s restaurant is named “Found.” There were no explanations as to why it’s named that. I suspect they didn’t really care what the name was and just took it from The Foundry. They couldn't even bother to copy the entire name. See, they’re taking this “team” thing very seriously.

Here comes the judges. This week we’ve got the core group of Tom, Padma, Gail, and guest Judge David Chang. They hit up “Fin” first. Gail seems to like the name. She thought was catchy and quick, “You know you’re getting fish and seafood.”

First dish from the Purple team. 

Brian (Fin)

Scallop Crudo, Corn and Squash Relish with Purple Corn Gel.

Somebody tell Venkman they caught Slimer.

David Chang said this dish is just “too snotty.” That’s all you need to know. Oy.

Meanwhile over at Found, the initial cracks are beginning to show. Danny Meyer’s VIP table didn’t get any menus. They’re just sitting around staring at each other. And when one of the VIPs asked for something in additional to the menu, Sara simply walked away before the diner could finish his request.

Also, remember last night's instructions on how to fill out the ordering ticket? Yeah just throw that out the window. Nothing is done the way they discussed. The judges aren’t even there yet and they’re already in the weeds. Not good.

Back at Fin, things are running smoothly. Tom noticed that food is coming out of the kitchen at a good consistent pace.

Second course from the Purple Team.

When in doubt, add caviar.

Carrie (Fin)

Sautéed Gulf Shrimp, Chickpea Puree, Oregano and Lemon.

Stephanie (Fin)

Linguini with Caviar, Oyster Cream & Fennel.

Though not perfect, judges liked both dishes. Stephanie must have done her homework because her pasta is cooked perfectly al dente, just the way Tom likes it. Plus, caviar and oyster cream couldn’t hurt. 

And Fin’s service is rolling along great. Tom notices that all the diners are happy, and even pointed out Travis’ sneaky chef move of kneeling down to chat with customer at the table so he’s on their level. Things are looking pretty good so far the the underdogs.

Here comes Purple team’s main course.

The little piece of kale makes this a healthy dish.

Nick (Fin)

Roasted Black Drum, King Trumpet Mushrooms, Oxtail, Kale & Hibiscus Reduction.

By far the best dish so far. You know when David Chang says the word “delicious” in his special way, the food is delicious. 

Now for the Purple Team’s Dessert.

Travis (Fin)

Olive Oil Cake with Greek Yogurt, Cherries & Pistachios.

Though not the moistest of cakes, it passed the mustard by presenting a decent cherry gel. Much better gel than Brian’s. Dessert’s always an afterthought in Restaurant Wars anyways. That’s why the front of the house person usually do a dessert.

We want our money back. Wait. This was free. Nevermind

Fin is now finis. Judges moving on to Found.

Ugh. What a terrible name.

On their way in Padma swings by the VIP table and yeah, feedback is not so good. Now they’ve got a biased opinion even before being seated. See how important a restaurant’s reputation is? 

The following is a public service announcement for future Top Chef contestants who are lucky enough to participate in Restaurant Wars. 

Rule number 1 in Restaurant Wars. Don’t ignore the judges’ table. 

I can’t believe that has to spelled out as a rule. Since sitting down, no one has come over to chat up the judges or to take their order. Unbelievable. 

I will NOT be ignored.

Things are going down fast at Found. Before the first course is even out, Tom’s already made the painfully obvious “lost” joke. Sara “verbally” ordered the judges dishes but didn’t give Justin a ticket. Thus, food is not ready and the judges are left to wait.

Rule number 2 in Restaurant Wars. Don’t let the judges wait for food.

Judges are not patient people. You keep them waiting for food and you’re going to face sassy Padma. You don’t want none of that. 

Rule number 3 in Restaurant Wars. Explain the dish to the judges.

No really. My face is just stuck this way.

Judges like to be talked to. And everyone likes to know what they’re eating and how it is made. That’s kind of an important part of the dining experience. 

I’m not sure if Sara has a hearing problem or what. Because just like before when the VIP diner called out to Sara to no avail, Padma tried to call Sara back to explain the dishes. Sara just kept walking, seemingly deaf to Padma’s voice and blind to the S-storm of a showing in Restaurant Wars.

Finally, the food. Here are Green team’s appetizers.

Knife work by Gollum. 

Carlos (Found)

Red Snapper Crudo, Avocado Mousse, Pickled Baby Carrots & Fried Platano.

Justin (Found)

Roasted Parsnip Agnolotti, Mississippi Rabbit & Collard Greens Broth.

Yeah we’ve got problems. Carlos’ snapper is not properly slice. David Chang thought it was almost “hand torn.” And Justin’s rabbit is overcooked. Oh remember that plate he wanted but didn’t have? Yeah it did end up biting him in the you know where.

David Chang propose that him and Tom go back into the kitchen and take over. Now THAT would make this an interesting episode. 

Green team’s second course.

Shirley (Found)

Olive Oil Poached Cobia, Blanched Ong Choy & Salsa Verde.

Finally. Some good news for the Green team. Tom thought Shirley’s fish is assertive without being over the top and has lots of flavor. Will it be too little too late?

Main Course. 

Hmm. Medium rare pork.

Nina (Found)

Pork Tenderloin with Sunchokes & Trumpet Royale Mushrooms.

Once again Sara just dropped the plate and left without explaining the dish. I’m starting to think she’s doing all this on purpose. Not to mention every time she bring out food she’s instructing the other server to “smile!” Then she puts on that incredibly plastic fake smile. 

As always, Nina’s dish is delicious and considered the best dish of this group. She’s so far and away better than the rest of the competition it’s hard to see her not winning this whole thing. Unlike odds on favored Kristen Kish from last season, Nina didn’t step up as chef in this Restaurant Wars. So unless she falters in future team challenges (which will be scarce because of dwindling numbers) this is pretty much her title to lose.

Back in the kitchen, Sara’s 5 spice mascarpone is broken. They can’t serve it. So Sara is going to have to serve her dessert without a major component. 

Sara (Found)

Summer Nectarine Brown Butter Cake with Moscato Nectarine Salsa.

This is not the expression you want from judges.

Guess which dish Sara voluntarily explains in detail with enticing adjectives and all? Yup. Her own dish. Sassy Padma puts the smack down right away and calls Sara out in front of the other judges. And yeah, they noticed the missing mascarpone. Judges tend to notice things like that.

Service is over. It’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen. 

This week it’s not so much the Flat Screen of Doom but the Flat Screen of Tom explaining how hard this challenge is. Because clearly neither team’s food wowed anybody. It’s going to come down to the overall dining experience. 

THIS is what you want from judges. But he's point at Padma.

The Bad News Bears comes away with the upset. Their food, and more importantly their smooth and fast service provided the judges and the diners a much better dining experience. People were just happier at Fin. As much as Travis showed up as the front of the house manager today, the executive chef Nick takes home the title. Doesn’t hurt that he also made the best dish of the evening. He’s definitely gaining momentum.

This result shows one thing. This is why most kitchens are in a brigade system. There is a chef, and there are cooks that serves at the pleasure of the chef. That’s why the word chef is derived from Chief. In a kitchen you need a leader and you need followers. The Purple team, albeit filled with a roster of talented chefs, they were unable to follow one person’s lead. And frankly, Justin the hothead wasn’t a good leader. Which brings us to…

The Last Rule of Restaurant Wars. Don’t piss off Padma.

Sassy Padma called the whole night a “disaster” and immediate asks Sara what happened. And when Sara tried to defend herself, Padma calls her out about the “non-explanation” of her fellow chef’s dishes. Judging by the reactions of Nina and Shirley, they had no idea. 

"Just don't peek. Just don't peek. Eyes up. Eyes up!"

Basically it comes down to Justin or Sara. Who should they kick off for such a pathetic showing at one of the more important challenges of the season? Regardless of who is actually to blame, everyone can tell that Sara’s attitude is just poisonous. Even when she’s speaking to the judges she has this expression on her face like everybody owes her money. 

As much as the editors tried to make the judges' conversation a “debate,” I’ll bet this was one of the quickest decisions ever. 

Tom says he really believe the problems from the front of the house migrated to the kitchen and is the main cause of the evening’s disastrous result. And for that, Sara gets the boot. That and I’m sure they’re all just tired of her sour attitude. 

See. Told you it's stuck that way.

Frankly. I think Sara tanked the service on purpose. I think she tried to sabotage in hopes to get Justin sacked. Yup. I sincerely believe it’s in her to attempt something like that. I believe there’s a reason why she’s no longer working with Wolfgang Puck. Well, at least things wont be awkward if and when Chef Puck shows up as a guest judge! 

So long Sara! For you next gig I’d consider working at the Dinner Detective. It’s located right in downtown Minneapolis, and this way you can cook and put on that fake smile on stage all in the same night! 

Thanks for stopping by! Next week Emeril gets back in the house and looks like we've got a rice and peas challenge!

Written By Mykl Wu.