Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 17: "Finale Part 2."

*Asterisk*

This one is going to have an asterisk next to it.

Why? Because this finale will go down in Top Chef lore as, "The One Where The Wrong Person Won."

The decision was so close the producers felt the need to give us a flash-forward sequence where we see the judges arguing and debating at judges’ table even before the show starts. 

They really wanted us to feel their pain and went as far as showing Tom say this was “by far” the closest Top Chef ever. In a way, it seem like the show was hedging their bets and wanted us to know perhaps they picked the wrong person. 

Perhaps they did.

We pick up right after Nick and Nina were named the two finalists. Padma and Tom pay them a congratulatory visit at to the Tiki Hut and tell them the final challenge. It’s a simple one.

Each Chef takes over a restaurant, four courses, best meal wins. That’s it.

Padma reminds Nick that since he won the challenge going into the Finale, he’ll have an advantage.

Gotta get people to watch somehow.

For being loyal Top Chef fans who stuck around and suffered through this mediocre season, we are rewarded by a shot of Padma coming out of the ocean in a skimpy red bikini that rivals any Sport Illustrated swim suit video.

Thank you producers. We needed that.

Apparently Nick and Nina needed that too. Padma, still in her bikini, shows up at the two chefs’ swanky hotel suite with a bunch of cast-off chefs from this season. You know how this works. Time to pick your team for the final challenge. 

Here’s the roster: (read: Chefs who wanted a free trip to Maui)

Shirley. Louis. Carlos. Stephanie. Brian. Travis. Janine. Sara. Jason.

Remember that advantage Nick won? He gets to pick all three of his sous chefs first. 

Reunited and it feels so good. #BlondLove

He goes with Jason, Louis, and Brian. Those seem like reasonable picks. He and Jason are buddies from Philly, Louis proved himself by winning Last Chance Kitchen, and Brian…I have no idea why he picked Brian. 

Nina picks Shirley, Stephanie, and Travis, which also makes sense. Nina’s friends with all three, and while they’re not as strong technically at Nick’s team, I do think they have better chemistry. I mean, who else is she going to pick? Certainly not Carlos because this isn’t a Mexican challenge. I don’t think she really knows Janine, and let’s face it, everybody hates Sara.

I’m not sure it was that much of an advantage for Nick to pick first. With the exception of Louis, I don’t think Nina would have taken either Brian or Jason. So the advantage is pretty much moot.

What. Nobody wants to work with me? #Surprise

Time to plan the menu.

Nick is going to do what Nick does best. Use a bunch of techniques and put a lot of components into one dish that ultimately will need more salt. He is however, going to ask Jason to make a scallop “noodle” dish. Apparently it’s something Jason is known for back in Philly. Nick’s going to put his own spin on it, of course. Hey it’s always good to win Top Chef with someone else's signature dish. 

Nina’s going to do what Nina does best. Combine island flavors with Italian techniques. The surprise here is she’s throwing in two extra courses. She knows it’s a risk but believes it’ll add to the overall experience. Taking on unnecessary work usually doesn’t end well on Top Chef. #Protip

Whole Foods wins Axis and Allies.

The gang splits up. Part of the team heads to Whole Foods to shop while the other half heads to their respective kitchens to start cooking. Once again we end up at Whole Foods. Sometimes I wonder why the show even bothers with exotic locations when all they do is shop at Whole Foods. Surely there are beautiful local markets in Maui. Right?

Time to start cooking.

On Team Nick’s side. Louis is prepping some hamachi for a crudo, Brian is curing duck breast, and Jason is pressing scallops in between two hotel pans with his Chuck Taylors on. Pretty sure that breaks a few health code violations. 

Here comes Tom and Emeril for the last cook n’ chat.

Right away Tom sizes up Nick’s team and is surprised that Jason was his first pick. Jason seems offended. Tom doesn’t care. Tom asks if Nick’s doing a dessert. Nick says he is because he wants redemption for the crappy panna cotta that should have sent him home earlier in the season. Tom agrees that the earlier panna cotta was crappy. I think “tasted like plastic” were his exact words.

Somebody call the health department.

Clearly Tom and Emeril view Nick as the underdog here. Because, when they went over to Nina’s side, their tone was much more relaxed. They casually ask about her game plan, but slip in the question about dessert as well. Obviously the judges had a discussion off camera on whether or not these guys should do dessert. The funny thing is, if you know Top Chef and know Tom’s philosophy, you would definitely NOT do dessert.

All along Tom’s message is “make the best dishes you can.” So if you’re not a pastry chef and can’t make a great dessert, why bother? It’s the same as “Chinese food isn’t my strong suit, but I’m going to make a Chinese dish just because.” It makes no sense.

Reunited and it feels so good. Hey wait!  #OtherBlond

Alright. When the two chefs are done cooking for the day, Tom and Emeril are going to take them out to dinner. And by dinner they mean a surprise visit from family members. Time for some emotional backstories and tears. However, at this point it’s getting stale. We get it already. Nick’s had a tough childhood (not surprised, judging by his anger issues) and Nina comes up from a small tropical island. These backstories are as repetitive as their foods.

Speaking of food. Let’s get back to it.

Nick's crack crew.

Day of service. Both chefs are giving instructions to their service staff. For some reason Nina’s wait staff is all in uniform and ready to go and sampling the dishes, while Nick looks like he’s dealing with a bunch of lollygaggers on spring break. As you can imagine, Nick isn’t too happy about this. But there’s no time to fret. Here comes the guests and judges.

Since it’s the finale. We’ve got the full roster of judges plus special guests. Tom and Gail brought Chef David Kinch and Top Chef Master Takashi Yagihashi to Nina’s restaurant 'Canouan,' named after the island where her father’s from.

On the other side, Padma, Emeril, Hugh and brought along Chef Paul Bartolotta and Iron Chef Morimoto to Nick’s place 'Kris,' named after his wife.

Here’s the menu.

Canouan (Nina)

Amuse Bouche

Another tartar. #Yawn

Breadfruit with Whipped Foie Gras Butter.

First Course

Tuna & Escolar Tartar with Tomato Water & Japlapeno.

Second Course

Roasted Goat Sugo with Orecchiette, Cherry Tomato Confit & Goat Cheese

Third Course

Swordfish with Squash Puree, Braised Kale & Smoked Onion Jus

Intermezzo

Compressed Dragon Fruit & Frozen Papaya Skewer

Dessert

Chocolate Zeppole With Macadamia Nuts & Passion Fruit Anglaise

Kris (Nick)

First Course

Jason Nick's Signature Dish.

Hamachi & Tuna with Green Apple Wasabi, Celery & Maui-Meyer Lemon.

Second Course

Sweet Shrimp Bisque, Scallop & Daikon Noodles with Thai Basil.

Third Course

Kombu cured Duck Breast with Kabocha Squash, Hijiki & Ginger.

Dessert

Caramelized White Chocolate Panna Cotta with Almond Cocoa Crumble & Tropical Fruit.

After the first round of tasting by the two groups of judges and guests, it’s hard to tell who’s got the upper hand. On one hand, Padma’s group found Nick’s dishes slightly underwhelming. His crudo is under seasoned (again), the scallop noodle too subtle, and the while everyone at the table loved the duck dish, Emeril somehow got served an undercooked piece and could barely chew through and finish his. And though they liked his dessert, it’s still just dessert.

This season. Basically.

While over at Nina’s, though everything was cooked and seasoned perfectly, only the goat dish stood out. Tom really didn’t like the swordfish and thought the final dessert was an incomplete dish. It’s basically chocolate donut holes with a dipping sauce. And while two extra dishes was nice, it was an amuse and an intermezzo. Hardly anything impactful that’ll sway the judges.

But that’s only the first half. Now the judges switch sides and do it all over again.

During the second round, the results start to slowly be revealed. Because, with the under-seasoned tartar aside, Tom seems to love every single dish Nick brought out. He went as far as calling the scallop noodle dish, the “best dish he had all year.” 

This finale. Basically.

On the other side, while Padma’s group seems to have a better time at Nina’s, I’m not sure they fell in love with the entire menu. They thought the breadfruit was inventive and the goat dish shined, but there were complaints on the swordfish and the dessert as well. The same types of problems Tom had with Nina’s menu. 

Which brings up an important part of the night.

The Service.

Right off the bat and as expected, Nick’s having problems with his servers. There are bunch of diners just sitting there and no tickets are coming in. He’s edgy and publicly chides his waiters in front of Padma’s group of judges when they fail to present the dish correctly. Padma wryly mimics Nick. #Awkward

In case you’re wondering, Nina’s servers are doing just fine.

Dining experience.

The problem with Nick’s servers continues. He had asked them to make sure the dessert spoons were on the table for the judges. When the time comes, they’re not and Nick once again scolds them harshly out in the open. I dunno about you, that isn’t relaxing or fun for anyone, especially the judges. Hugh sarcastically asks Nick, "How are the servers?," and when Nick says “Fine,” Hugh gives him a big fake smile. #Awkward

Oh yea. Still smooth sailing over at that other joint.

Top Psycho.

Later when Tom’s group was at Nick’s the problem got worse. At some point during that service a table complains that they didn’t get their first course. That’s the final straw for Nick. He loudly slams the table and yells “GOD DAMNIT!” so loud that it startles Gail and the rest of the dining room. Apparently it didn’t stop there because you can still hear Nick screaming after the initial outburst. It was so tense and frankly kinda embarrassing that Gail finally says what everyone’s feeling, “Awkward.”

After the service is over, Nick goes over to his family’s table like a little boy who's had a bad day and seeks out mama for comfort instead of his wife. Talk about awkward.

Easy there Oedipus.

It’s all done with now. The dinner’s over. We go straight to judges table for some Q n’ A.

Right away the judges ask about the service problems. Nick parries it with the skill of a PR professional and stuck to his talking points, “We were having a tough service. But I thought this food was pretty consistent.”

Atta boy. Admit mistakes and quickly put the focus back on the food. Ari Fleischer would be proud.

Don't contradict Padma.

What happens next is strange. Tom starts off by pointing out the lack of seasoning of Nick’s tartar, but then proceeds to defend his next two dishes to the rest of the panel. When Padma says the scallop noodle has no scallop flavor, Tom says, "Best dish all season long." When Emeril says his duck was too chewy, Tom says his was perfect. Tom’s defense is so curt and to the point it drew rolled eyes from Padma and a curious look from Emeril. 

Onto to Nina.

Tom asks whether she should be judged on solely the four required courses or should they include the two extras. Nina says if it helped with the progression then why not?

Et tu Colicchio?

No problems with her tartar. It was herbaceous and flavorful. Home run on the second dish across the board. Emeril went as far as calling it “awesome.” But here comes the problem. The swordfish dish. Nina concedes that even though she tries to “put herself” into every dish, this one didn’t quite gel. And when asked about the dessert course, she confessed that dessert wasn’t her strong suit and the objective was to end with “a little bite.” Exactly. A little bite isn’t exactly a full dessert course.

Ok questions over. Go stew while the judges deliberate.

First course. The consensus is to Nina. Once again the lack of salt killed Nick.

Just...a little bit chewy.

Second course. Tom and Gail vote for Nick’s scallop noodles, the other three prefer Nina’s goat. 2-1 Nina.

Third course. Looks like Nick took this one. The only person who didn’t vote for Nick’s duck is Emeril. I think he’s still chewing his piece.

Dessert. Nick wins this one. Nina’s didn't really count as dessert. 2-2. Tied.

So now what? Well this is what the producers want you to see in the beginning of the show. Just how tough it was for them to reach a conclusion. 

At one point, Hugh and Padma brought up service and how Nick lashed out at the wait staff. Tom is shown frowning as if he’s surprised.

How dare you accuse me of playing favorites!

An hour goes by and Tom states that Nick’s menu was more cohesive and well thought out. When Padma brought up the Nina’s two extra dishes, Gail says Nina would have been better off putting that extra energy into making a better dessert. Point well taken.

Another 40 minutes goes by and now the question is what was the worst dish of the night. Even though Emeril says he couldn’t even get through the duck, it was a split between the donut holes and the swordfish. We’re getting a clearer picture now.

The way the producers edited things, it made it look like Tom, with Gail in tow, manages to brow beat Padma, Emeril, and Hugh into submission. But if you think about it, they didn’t. 

Tom is innocent!

The big question is “whether or not Nick’s behavior should count towards the final result?” Because if the answer is yes, then Nick definitely should lose. No matter how great the food is, I would think twice before going back if the chef is out in the dining room yelling at servers. But in this case, the answer is no. "No" because normally chefs aren’t out in the dining room, and they’re not dealing with subpar servers running around without a clue. 

This final challenge is about the food. Cook the best four courses and win. In the end, the 5 judges voted on each dish and final tally was 11-9. 

The underdog from Philadelphia pulls an upset. Your new Top Chef is Nicholas Elmi.

I get the girl too? #NO

Why will this season have an asterisk next to it? Because the focus will be on whether or not Nick should have resigned the week he made chocolate chicken, the worst dish created on the history of Top Chef. The focus will be on how much of a jerk Nick was throughout the season. The focus will be on how Nina out cooked Nick time and time again. But that’s not how this show works.

Perhaps the title of “Top Chef” implies the winner must be someone with superior skills, impeccable creativity, and character beyond reproach. That might be a Top Chef in real life, but on this show, a Top Chef is someone who doesn’t get eliminated throughout the season and cooks the best dinner in the finale. That’s it. So put the asterisks away and congratulate Nicholas Elmi.

Don't hate. Congratulate!

There you have it. Another season under our belts! We’ve had some highs and some lows, but in the end we got through it together!

New Orleans is one of the greatest food and culture cities in the world. As much as the show tried, it would take a Herculean effort to truly depict the love and passion that exists in New Orleans. And I give the show all the credit for putting in that effort. Those of you who haven’t had a chance to visit, you must. Trust me. You’ll fall in love with the Crescent City.

Thank you stopping by week after week. I love you all! 

Now go eat something delicious!

{Written by Mykl Wu}

Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 13: "Qui Si a Challenge."

Literally.

Two words:

Jacque. Pépin.

Now we’re cooking with fire. 

Jacque Pépin is one of the most beloved chef around. Nope. I’m not exaggerating. The man was a personal chef to three French heads of states, won multiple James Beard Awards, and wrote the book on French cooking technique. If this was Star Wars, Jacque would be Yoda.

Let’s put it this way. Even Carlos, who apparently knowing nothing ever, knows who Jacque Pépin is. I mean, Carlos follows him on Facebook!! #Shocking

Carlos Gaytan. Social Media guru.

Needless to say, today’s Quickfire challenge will be all about technique. The chefs will have to recreate one of Jacque’s all time favorite dishes, Dover Sole with Artichoke and Asparagus. 

But wait - how do the cheftestants know how to make this particular dish?

No worries. Chef Pépin is going to show you exactly how it’s done. 

The gang gathers around while Jacque puts on an effortless display of trimming artichokes, julienning shallots, skinning the Dover sole, and making cherry tomatoes. Oh did I mention he carves a rose out of butter? Yeah. No big deal. 

A rose by any other name and you can't charge them $30.

Ok. Now they’ve got 35 minutes to replicate this dish. Winner gets immunity. Bonne chance.

Right off the bat, Nick and Shirley have the upper hand. Nick is classically trained and graduated form the CIA (Culinary Institute of America). Shirley tells us she cooks strictly classical French cuisine, so this should be easy peasy for her. 

Huh? Last time I checked, everything Shirley cooked this season has been aggressively old school Asian flavors. Now she tells us she “strictly” cook French food? If that’s the case then just her the freaking title right now because that’s some range. Damn.

Um. You're missing a few items.

The kitchen is quiet. Everyone’s got their heads down, concentrating on getting everything just right. The perfect cut, the perfect filet, perfect everything. There is a tremendous amount of work to be done in just 35 minutes. No messing around today.

Luckily the Dover sole doesn’t take too long to cook. So it’s all about getting you mis en place ready to be fired up.

Sure enough, those who didn’t have classical training or aren’t used to this type of cooking are suffering. Carlos, Brian, and Stephanie are all way behind. 

Time’s up. This is going to be embarrassing for some people.

You want technique? I'll show you the
five-point-palm-exploding heart technique!

In fact, the only people with presentable plates are Nick and Shirley. Even Nina’s plate looked terrible. Meanwhile Carlos and Brian couldn’t even finish making the damn dish. Can you imagine serving Jacque Pépin something that resembles a Jackson Pollack painting?

Nick and his CIA degree prevails. He just edged out Shirley for the win and more importantly, the immunity. Shirley is NOT happy.

Immunity at any stage is huge. But with just a few more weeks to go, this couldn’t have come at the better time especially no one knows if there’s going to be another chance for immunity.

Elimination Challenge.

People of America!
Don't forget about me!

As this week’s title suggests, this week is all about French versus Spanish. Padma tells us at times both the French and the Spanish ruled over Louisiana, and both have greatly influenced the area’s cuisine. This week, the chefs will divide up into two teams and each will represent one of the countries. To help them get their bearing straight are two 2 Michelin star chefs and masters of their country’s cuisine. Julian Serrano and Dominque Crenn.

Julian Serrano was an ambassador of Spanish cuisine and has been making tapas way before our beloved Jose Andres even set foot in the U.S. He was also one of the revolutionary chefs that brought fine dining to Las Vegas, opening Picasso at the Bellaggio and his namesake at Aria Hotel and Resorts. 

Dominique Crenn is the chef and owner of Atelier Crenn. She has cooked all over the world, made culinary history by becoming the first female executive chef in Indonesia and is the first female chef to have won 2 Michelin stars in the U.S.  Oh and she’s a super bad ass and irresistibly charming in a La Femme Nikita kinda way. Basically, I’m we’re all crushing on her right now.

Total crush...and kinda scared of her.

The challenge. Under the guidance of the two master chefs, each team will create a 5 course tasting menu reflecting the cuisine of either French or Spanish cuisine. The caveat. Both teams must use and highlight 5 ingredients that are found in both cuisines: 

Olives. Almond. Mussels. Chicken. Chocolate.

Wait a minute. Chicken? What country doesn’t using chicken as a stable? I digress.

As the knife block will have it, Nick, Shirley, and Stephanie are on the French team, while Carlos, Nina, and Brian are Spanish.

Seems fitting enough. The two French trained chefs are on one team and Carlos, whose Mexican cuisine relates much closer to that of Spain is on the other side. 

See what I mean?

So basically, they have today to menu plan, shop, and cook with the master chef, where he or she will show them how to make some of these dishes. Tomorrow, the cheftestants recreate the menu without their mentors for the judges. The team with the overall best dishes wins. Someone from the losing team will be going home.

From the menu planning we learn that Chef Crenn isn’t exactly old school. She’s using terms like “nest,” and “veil,” and basically confusing the hell out of Stephanie. The odd thing is Stephanie cooks at No.9 Park in Boston and they serve very refined French cuisine. So she should have some understanding of modern culinary techniques. 

Stephanie, show us how you really feel.

On the other hand, Chef Serrano is the definition of old school. He wants the team to focus on simplicity and flavor, something that the chefs can succeed in replicating tomorrow and not invent something new. He’s also very particular in what he wants the team to do. Basically do exactly what he says. Yeah. No talks of nests and veils here.

Two very different schools of thought here. And not in just philosophy either, they two master chefs are also night and day when it comes to shopping. Chef Crenn is running around with the minions, gathering ingredients left and right. While Chef Serrano kinda strolls around, sampling things and is basically taking his time and enjoying the moment. We’re on a time limit here chef!

Old School.

Back at the kitchen. The two master chefs are leading their teams in preparing the dishes. This is where you understand why these guys are masters. Chef Serrano is showing his team precisely how he wants things done. Like a true teacher, he’ll show the other chefs how to do everything first before letting them take the reins. Even to the point of cutting the potatoes and olives for them first so they know exactly what it looks like. 

Chef Crenn is taking more of the Socratic method. She’s collaborating, discussing, and tasting alongside her team. Both Nick and Shirley are following along great. Exchanging suggestions back and forth, having a great time. Stephanie is lost. She has no clue what the hell is going on.  She’s just gonna go in the corner and make bread crumbs. #SadTrombone

Too many tears and not enough liquid nitrogen this season.

Day’s over. Everyone had a great time. It’s all smiles now. We’ll see what happens for it for reals tomorrow.

Back at the pad, while Stephanie continues to openly discuss how lost she is, Carlos take some time to call his daughter. There must be something about talking to family when you’re in a competition like this. Because almost everybody gets misty. Carlos is no exception. He’s gets choked up talking to his daughter and start crying. You know who never cried on Top Chef? Michael Voltaggio. Because Top Chefs don’t cry.

Tears? What is that. A new ingredient?

Time to cook. The chefs have one hour to finish up before serving the judges and their respective master chefs. Also at the table this week Jacque Pépin, Emeril, Chef Rick Tramonto and restauranteur John Folse from Restaurant R’Evolution.

What a terrible name for a restaurant. 

Well, terrible name aside, that’s where the chefs are cooking today. Nina is getting nervous because it just hit her that she’s serving potato salad with olives. Yup. It’s as simple as it sounds. Potatoes. Carrots. Shrimps. Olives. 

Hey what’s this. Liquid nitrogen? 13 episodes in and we’re finally busting out the nitro! However, Shirley doesn’t look too comfortable with that canister. Somebody call Richard Blais for a tutorial.

The hour flies by and it’s time for service.

For some reason Nick and Carlos are the ones out front, introducing the dishes. This makes them appear to be captains.

First Course.

(French Team)

Shirley - Snapper Ceviche with Dehydrated Olives & Ice Cream.

Aha! Now I know why Carlos is out here. Dude busts out “buenas noches” and a cheesy introduction about “going on a journey through the eyes of our chefs” in Spanish. 

Even Nick lets out an exasperated, “Oh come on!” in protest. Ha.

Um yeah. You know that there are people at this table who doesn’t speak Spanish right?

(Spanish Team)

Nina - Ensaladilla Rusa with Green Olives, Gulf Shrimp & Potatoes.

Jacque asks if he should eat the snapper with the ice cream, to which Tom said, “Don’t you always eat your ice cream with your fish?” Ha. 

Tom liked the fish. Tom also liked the ice cream. Together - not so much. 

Week 13. We're making potato salads. #TopChef?

Obviously Chef Crenn liked this dish. It was her idea to begin with. John Folse the restauranteur also liked it. But I don’t trust his taste level, someone with good taste wouldn’t pick such a terrible name for his restaurant.

Now the potato salad. Right away you knew that Jacque Pépin was going to like this dish. I think I’ve seen him cook potato salad on them PBS cooking shows a bunch of times. This is totally right in his wheelhouse. 

Chef Serrano says sometimes the simple thing is the more difficult thing to do. How true. With just four ingredients everything has to be cooked and seasoned perfectly. Apparently Nina accomplished that.

Point Serrano.

Second Course 

Anything you can do I can do better.

(French Team)

Stephanie - Pickled and Poached Mussels, Crustacean Jus & Tomate.

(Spanish Team)

Nina - Ajo Blanco with Almonds, Crab & Cherries.

Ok people. Ajo blanco is basically a cold white garlic and almond soup. It’s easy to make, hard to master. Seems like Nina did another great job. Emeril could eat another bowl.

Dominique Crenn needs her own show. She keeps trying to rattle Chef Serrano In this tongue in cheek competition between their two teams. She kept praising her team’s dishes while nitpicking the Spanish dishes. To which Cher Serrano calmly disagrees.

This course is too close to call, onward.

Third Course

Everyone's favorite dish.

(Spanish Team)

Carlos - Mejillones A La Romesco with Crispy Leeks

(French Team)

Shirley and Stephanie - Chicken Liver Mousse with Roasted Chicken Bouillon

Everyone seems to like the French dish of mousse with the consommé. Everyone except for Cher Serrano of course. He thought the mousse was too soft. Your move, Crenn.

Carlos’ mussels were good too. Even though most thought it was more about the romesco sauce instead of the mussels themselves.

Yum. Tumbleweeds. 

Another close call.

The gang’s finishing up the fourth course. What the?? Nick is making game hen with CHOCOLATE?! Ok I’m all for modern twists but chocolate with chicken?! #Skeptic

On top of that he’s making a nest out of corn silk. I don’t know about you but I’ve had corn silk stuck in my teeth before and that stuff is not edible. Apparently Nick thinks deep frying them will make them dissolve when eaten? Nope. Shirley tried one and she said nope. Stephanie tried to persuade Nick to….and shutdown before she can even finish her sentence. All we can make out is her mumbling “it’s my ass.” #Foreshadow

Fourth Course

I. Can't. Even.

(Spanish Team)

Brian and Carlos - Pollo Con Arroz: Chicken & Saffron Rice

(French Team)

Nick - Cornish Game Hen & Spiced Chocolate with Corn Silk Nest

Right off the bat Chef Crenn says the dish is too safe and the chicken is too dry. Once again, Chef Serrano disagrees and basically tells Chef Crenn he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Mean Girl Padma says chicken is beautifully done. Of course she’s going to disagree with the other beautiful lady at the table. Point Serrano.

Ok. Now let’s talk about this chocolate game hen dish. First off, Chef Serrano just stared at the for a while. He wasn’t even going to touch it. He kept asking Chef Crenn “You like that? You’re kidding me.” He adds that this is what’s wrong with “new cooking” and that this dish made no sense to him. Ha.

That being said, all Chef Crenn says in support is, “It’s progressive!” Oy.

The onslaught continues.

Tom picks up the corn silk next and says, “This is like what you pull out of the drain after you take a shower. When I had hair! I don’t have hair. When I was losing my hair this what it looked like!”

Game. Set. Match. Serrano.

If Tom is doing this to your food, it's time to go home.

Last Course

(Spanish Team)

Brian - Flan De Chocolate & Strawberries

(French Team)

Nick - Almond Flan, Plum & Dark Cocoa

Nick is screwing the pooch. Even Chef Crenn is saying that his flan isn’t quiet up to par and could be taken to the next level. Yeah, good thing Nick has immunity. #MoreForeshadowing

Brian made the most basic of chocolate flan. And it was too sweet. Chef Serrano agrees. 

So that's what happened to Tom's hair.

Meh. It’s dessert and we’ve already called the match. So let’s move on.

So it comes down to which team did better as a whole. That’s the parameters. Not who had the best dish or who had the worst dish. They’re judged as a team and someone from the losing team will go home.

The problem here is that everyone’s favorite dish (the consommé) and least favorite dish (the chocolate chicken) are on the same team. So how do you go about deciding? 

Tom suggests that they just let Chef Crenn and Chef Serrano arm wrestle and duke it out. Um Chef Crenn will definitely win that one. Hell, she can probably kick everyone at the table’s ass. Ok, maybe not Tom. Because Tom Colicchio boxes 3 days a week. #Badass

The gang stays at the restaurant which name I refuse to type again so there is no flat screen of doom this week. 

Padma simply walks in and asks to see - The Spanish team.

Still slightly afraid...

Yeah. Pretty much called it. Though not edgy, the Spanish team executed their traditional yet flavorful cuisine perfectly and simply outperformed the French team as a whole. And when your targeted audience this week are old school chefs like Jacque Pépin and Emeril, of course the homey, comforting, traditional food is going to prevail. 

Nina wins with her potato salad. Yup. Old school indeed.

Here’s the thing. This season has been one massing cooking challenge after another. The focus has been on cooking for lots of people. Finally we get a high end type tasting menu challenge, and the show brings in two outside master chefs to dictate the menu? 

"So long! We're outta here!"

Because this really wasn’t about Spanish versus French, this was almost more about Chef Crenn's modernist style versus Chef Serrano traditional style. I wonder what would have happened if the cheftestants were left to their own devices and created a menu by themselves? Surely they wouldn’t have stretched so far out of their comfort zone to create things like corn silk nests and pairing chocolate with game hen.

The French team has a problem. See, they’re in this position mainly because of Chef Crenn and Nick. As much as everyone was loving her yesterday, that love must be gone now. She pushed for these avant garde dishes and Nick poorly executed his. However, Chef Crenn isn’t accountable and Nick has immunity so he gets to stay. That leaves Shirley and Stephanie, who actually made some good dishes, holding the bag.

This week's challenge idea, AND that dish.

Everyone’s favorite dish is actually Shirley’s consommé, which she used traditional old school techniques to accomplish. See the irony?

Time to talk about the chocolate chicken. Remember a few weeks back when I named Carrie’s boiled broccoli with yogurt “The Saddest Dish in Top Chef History?” Well we have a new winner.

This was clearly one of the biggest flops ever on Top Chef. The judges are just blasting away. While Nick was trying to dodge around whether or not he thought it was a good dish, Chef Pépin straight up asks, “Would you go and serve that if you had a restaurant, you sit down, give it to your mother and say ‘this is really good?’”

My fellow chefs. Let that be the question you ask yourself before sending every plate out to your guests. If the answer is no, then you know what to do. #Pépin’sProtip

But wait. We’re not done just yet.

Jacque follows up by asking question of the night, “Cooking is a team effort. Do you think that your team should be penalized for you? Or do you think you should resign?”

BOOM.

I’m sure during the conference between the judges Jacque was shocked to hear about this immunity business. Can’t you just imagine him with his awesome French accent saying, “What is this nonsense immunity? How come the person who made this chocolate chicken does not get sent home and preferably sent back to cooking school?” #OldSchool

And the beauty of the moment is, no one says a word. They just left Nick standing there. Hanging. Waiting for what he’s going to say.

You think facing Tom Colicchio after making a bad dish is terrifying enough. It’s got to be every cook’s (especially French trained) nightmare to be standing in front of Jacque freaking Pépin, with him asking you if YOU think you should resign. And after he already brought your mom into this. #Shudder

“I thought I did well enough yesterday to earn immunity today, Chef.”

Stephanie look befuddled.

Shirley has no idea how to feel.

It ain't show-friends. It's show-business.

Jacque gives a disapproving nod of disappointment and look towards Tom, who also nods and declares, (throw hands up) “part of the game.” 

Uncomfortable silence.

They’re dismissed. 

In an aside, both Shirley and Stephanie says that if they were in Nick’s shoes, they’d totally resign. Stephanie is so disgusted she can’t even look at him.

The judges comes to a tough decision, albeit according to Jacque, “an unsatisfying one.”

Unexpectedly, Tom says he still hopes Nick comes back out and falls on his sword. 

It’s tough to say what one “would” do in this situation. However, it’s not tough to say what one “should” do. Nick should absolutely fall on his sword and step off. First of all, there is still Last Chance Kitchen, so he can redeem himself. Second and most importantly, it’s about character. And regardless of whether or not he wins Top Chef, from this moment on his character has been forever damaged. And damaged with the likes of Tom Colicchio, Emeril Lagasse, and Jacque Pépin. They will always remember Nick as the cook who didn’t own up to his mistakes, put himself before other cooks, as a man without a code.

Yeah this is a cooking competition yada yada yada. But this is also his reputation in the culinary universe. His actions (or lack there of) at this moment speaks more about him than any title or amounts of money he might win.

Sadly Stephanie gets the cut for one of her better dishes this season. She’s crushed. There’s no sticking around for “thank you for this opportunity” farewells or hugs. She just walked away. 

Shirley’s in tears. She reaches out to Stephanie and shoots Nick a parting “how could you” look as she too exits the room.

The whole time Nick just stood there. His hand covering his face. Partly of shame and perhaps partly to prevent himself from opening his mouth and do the right thing. 

Just to give everybody some closure, Tom say Nick won immunity fair and square and this is part of the game. However we all know no one at that table will ever look at Nick the same way again. Sure it’s all part of the game, but in the immortal words of one Omar Little...

Thanks for stopping by. See you next week!

[Written by Mykl Wu]