Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 12: "Mississippi Mudbugs."

Shellshocked.

No mas!!!

That’s what happens when you have to cook for 500 college students under duress. The 7 remaining chefs huddled around the table, drinking wine to calm them. 

Nina had a tough time. This odds-on favorite was in the bottom alongside Justin, who had a tougher time and got sent home for bland shrimp salad. You know who didn’t have a tough time? Carrie. Because of immunity, she boiled some broccoli and called it a day.

We’re about 3 weeks away from the finale and we’re running out of cannon fodder. 

Speaking of fodder, next morning we get a little alone time with Stephanie on the phone with her boyfriend. Note to Top Chef producers. Invest in a better way to mic phone conversations. Because I can’t understand a GD word what her boyfriend is saying. The only thing I got out of that was Stephanie hired someone she had a crush on and manipulated the work schedule so she can spend time with him. I don’t know about you but I consider that sexual harassment. Yes, I’m such a romantic.

I can't hear a word you're saying.

Speaking of romance, there’s none left between Nick and Carlos. Nick is still pissed about “oven-gate,” where Carlos lied to the judges that Nick stole his oven. Tension is just little high.

Quickfire time.

We welcome back a familiar face. New Orleans restaurant icon and patron saint of beautiful hairdos everywhere - John Besh! At this point, John Besh really needs no other introductions. If you need it, here’s a refresher. 

This week’s Quickfire involves one of the most popular ingredients in “Cajun” cooking. Depends on where you’re from, you might call them crayfish, crawfish, or as this week’s title suggests, mudbugs. I just call them delicious. One of the most popular things to do in Louisiana is to throw a crawfish boil. Just throw a bunch of these suckers in a giant pot along with some Andouille sausage, cobs of corn, onions, potatoes and boil. Boom - instant party. Oh, don’t forget the beer. 

I know Kung Fu. (Not goona help)

However, since this is a cooking competition we need to step it up a bit. So the chefs will create that other quintessential crawfish dish, the classic étouffée. 

Étouffée literally means, “to smother.” So a classic étouffée is pretty much a rustic stew, where the flavor is slowly drawn out and “smothers” the plate. Typically, étouffée is served over rice. However, unlike what Padma suggests, “smothering” doesn’t mean the gravy has to envelope rice or any other carbs. It just needs to be “cooked down.” #fact

The chefs will have 45 minutes, winner gets immunity.

I’m actually surprised that immunity is still up for grabs. Especially with Carrie and her immunity broccoli debacle from the last challenge. But oh well, here we go.

Carlos on EVERY challenge.

Wait. What is this? Stephanie is allergic to shellfish? And not just any shellfish. She’s allergic to shellfish that turns red when cooked. She’s got her gloves on and her epi pen ready to go. Only problem is she won’t be able to taste her own food, so her buddy Nick will be her taster. Yeah. Good luck with that.

Wait. Now what? Carlos has NEVER heard of étouffée before? 

Once again I’m baffled. Seriously, if you knew you’re headed to New Orleans for a food competition, wouldn’t you at least Google the words, “New Orleans, food?” Guess not. He’s going to make a shrimp stew that he used to make in Acapulco and just sub out the shrimp with crawfish. I swear, Carlos should have held out for Top Chef Acapulco, because he sure ain't prepared for Top Chef New Orleans. 

Seriously. First result off Google.

Nina’s making pasta (again), Shirley is doing something Asiany (again), and Brian is doing something Korean (again) so there’s that. Good to see some range on these potential “top” chefs. #Sarcasm. 

Time’s up. Let’s see how these guys interpret étouffée.

NOT an étouffée

Nina - Italian Style Étouffée with Pici Pasta & Tomato Crawfish Broth.

Carrie - Spanish Style Étouffée with Crawfish Broth, Chickpeas & Almonds.

Nick - Crawfish with Shrimp Mousse Stuffed in Napa Cabbage with Brandy & Corn.

Shirley - Singapore Chili Crab Étouffée with Crawfish Stock, Cucumber & Egg.

Brian - Étouffée with Gochujang, Corn, Peppers, Crab Meat, Crawfish, Andouille & Pasta.

NOT an étouffée

Carlos - Soup with Crawfish, Guajillos, Garlic, Corn, Potatoes & Crispy Chorizo.

Stephanie - Crawfish Bisque with Parisian Gnocchi & Poached Crawfish.

Those who end up on the bottom pretty much decided to make something other than an étouffée. Carlos and Stephanie basically just made soup. Nick went off the reservation and made some sorta corn/shrimp/crawfish cabbage roll. And Carrie just didn’t execute. There was too much wine in her dish and she didn’t cook off the alcohol. You’d think “drunken étouffée” would be a good thing. Guess not.

Étouffée (Yes. I made it.)

On the flip side, we’ve got Brian’s flavorful Gochuijan sauce, Nina’s impressive hand rolled pasta, and Shirley’s velvety crawfish broth. All of them managed to “cook down” and exact the flavors, which is the most important part of an étouffée.

The winner and immunity goes to Shirley. Who’s been on a roll lately winning either immunity or elimination challenges for the past few weeks. She’s officially just as dangerous as Nina.

Elimination Challenge.

The Gulf Coast is known for its bountiful seafood. To celebrate, Louisiana Seafood is throwing a party at Mardi Gras World and they want the good chefs from Top Chef to provide the food. The challenge is to create a dish highlighting two separate seafood items in one dish. Padma then tells them that they will have three hours to cook on location for ONE THOUSAND GUESTS!

Talk about shellshocked. These guys barely survived serving 500 college kids with cafeteria food. Now they’re supposed to double that amount and kick it up with high-end seafood? 

Sike. 

Guess what. Padma was only kidding. I guess she wanted to see if any of these chefs would just flat out commit seppuku? #Evil

So they only have to cook for 200 people. See, now that doesn’t sound too bad right? 

To make up for that evil prank (I guess), John Besh invites the chefs over to his house for dinner, where he will cook them a feast of simple Louisiana country food. 

Wow. Can you even imagine hanging out with John Besh at his home, just chilling over some Sazeracs and watch him cook for you? Talk about a cook’s dream. Damn.

Ok. So the John Besh Estate is exactly what you would expect it to be, a 5,000 square-foot Creole cottage-style house on a 10-acre Bayou Liberty estate in Slidell, LA. A fountain out front, a pool in the back, a boardwalk through the bayou surrounded by live oak trees. The kitchen was renovated in 2011, and it’s big enough to both accommodate family gatherings and to shoot a television cooking show. 

Hey Girl. You hungry?

The gang shows up and sure enough, Chef Besh passes around what looks like Sazeracs to everyone and starts cooking. I gotta say, the food he’s busting out looks tastier and more comforting than anything I’ve seen so far this season. As a chef, to have lasted this far and earned a seat at that table is winning in itself. Anything else is gravy.

Food aside, Chef Besh offers some gems of advice. He says that some of the best chefs perform worst in competitions like this because they always feel the need to do too much. As one gets older and more mature they’ll learn restraint, confidence, and how to cook from the heart. However, like he adds later, “easier said than done.”

Um. Can John Besh just go ahead and adopt me already? 

Next day. Time to cook.

The gang arrives at Mardi Gras World and waiting for them is a truck full of seafood. There’s everything from tuna and amberjack to oysters and shrimps. Talk about a bounty of seafood. 

Um...somebody call the health department.

Almost everyone’s doing crudo. I guess in a way it’s the easiest preparation. What better way to highlight seafood than minimal manipulation? All you need is a sharp knife, the correct accompaniment of flavors and some acid to brighten the whole dish up and viola - crudo! 

There’s the rub. You see, Carlos isn’t exactly / doesn’t have the sharpest knife around. So he’s totally tearing the fish apart. Since he’s been dinged for this mistake once before he goes into desperate mode. Mister No-Short-Term-Memory here asks his buddy Nick if he can borrow Nick’s sushi knife. Um… remember “oven-gate?” Because Nick does.

When Nick says no, this is Carlos’ reaction: “Nicolas, stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about other people.”

You. Are. Kidding. Me.

One day you’re going to call him a thief in front of the judges and next day you wanna borrow his knife? And when he says no (because he’s actually using it) you’re going to accuse him of being selfish? 

Moving on.

Carrie is going the complete opposite direction. She’s going to make flounder fritters with an oyster emulsion. That is taking a big risk. Instead of showcasing the fish itself, she’s turning the fish into mush and then frying it. Guess she wants to showcase some technique. That would be peachy if this was a techniques challenge. It is not.

What is this?! In a “fool me once, shame on you” moment, Nick caves and decides to let Carlos use his sushi knife. Nick being the affable man that he is, forgot that this is a competition and you can’t afford to be too affable in this type of situation. Just ask Ed Masterson. #ObscureWyattEarpReference

I’ll give credit where credit is due. Brian’s has been stepping up big time lately. After finishing in the top 3 consistently in the past few challenges, Brian the only one who’s actually cooking his fish. He’s doing a grilled swordfish with a shrimp sauce. I suspect he’ll win points for thinking outside the box alone.

Best eyebrows since Clark Gable. (Google it, kids.)

Time for service. 

John Besh stays as the guest judge of the week, and we have Hugh Acheson as the rotating judge of the week. It’s Padma and the boys.

Before tasting, the judges brought up a great point about these challenges. Too often, these chefs immediately think about how to make a dish for 200 people. They should think about how to make the “winning dish” and then figure out how to serve that 200 times. Keep that in mind when you’re cooking for a bunch of people. Always focus on making the best dish vs. making something easy for a big party. #Protip - and that’s from Tom Colicchio and John Besh! 

With that said, let’s see who subscribed to that philosophy.

Brian - Grilled Swordfish, Shrimp & Sweet Onion Puree with Fennel Daikon Relish.

Home run. Both Tom and John like the fact that he cooked the fish. The fish was perfectly done and the heat at the end gave it a kick. Looking good.

"Somebody spit in my food." (H/T Dave Grohl)

Nick - Oyster Leek Soup, Champagne Emulsion, Green Apple Yogurt & Cured Amberjack.

Nick advertised this as “Oyster Three Ways.” You know, it’s never a good idea to do things “three ways” (in food anyways) and judges will always ding you for trying that. Also, his dish needed more acid. 

Side note here. How many times have you heard that on Top Chef? It’s like every dish’s downfall! Note to self: Always give your dish (especially seafood) a hit of lemon or better yet, yuzu to finish. #Protip.

Oh and avoid saying, "this needs a hit of acid" when you’re dining out with friends. It comes across REALLY pretentious and makes you one of “those” people. #MoarProtip 

That's a flounder. Talk about the opposite of highlighting.

Carrie - Flounder Croquettes with Oyster Emulsion & Pickled Cucumbers.

Here we go. Right off the bat Tom asks Carrie why she decided to take a beautiful whole fish and turn it into a croquette. Even though John thought it tasted fine, Tom still can’t understand the rationale behind this dish. Outlook murky for Carrie. #womp

Shirley - Tuna & Amberjack Ceviche with Aged Soy Sauce, Lime Dressing & Toasted Pecans.

So she made Asian tuna tartare. Pecans for the crunch. #yawn #immunity

Nina - Marinated Wahoo with Salsa Verde, Tonnato Sauce & Pickled Vegetables.

Justo would be very upset.

As usual, Nina brings it with her attention to detail and perfect execution. Pairing Tonnato sauce (tuna/olive oil/capers blitzed) with another fish is a brilliant idea. Both Tom and John liked it.

Carlos - Amberjack Ceviche with Rustic Peach and Shrimp Relish.

Fish was cut way too thin. Spicy peach relish over powered the fish. Hugh thought it was under seasoned and also - needed acid.

Stephanie - Fried Louisiana Oysters with Tuna & Pickled Beech Mushrooms.

Every dish could use a little more...

“The oyster’s crisp. That’s half the battle,” says Tom. There you go. To consistently serve crispy fried oysters a-la-minute for 200 people is a feat. Plus, she’s got the right amount of acid. Heh.

Seafood festival is over! Seems like most everyone did a decent job. With zero room for error, it’ll be interesting to see who is in the bottom.

Oh oh. Here we go. What did Shakespeare say? “Neither a borrower nor a lender be?” Yeah. Remember that knife Carlos borrowed? Nick told Carlos that it was a special knife - a wedding gift - and to take good care of it. Well after butchering all that fish Carlos just left it sitting there, caked with dried bits of fish. Needless to say Nick wasn’t too happy about that. See: “fool you twice,” shame on you Nick.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

During the interlude, Stephanie and Nina have an epiphany: Padma is beautiful. Stephanie says she’s been wearing and perfecting her ponytail every day for 28 years and it does not look anything like Padma’s. Um yeah. Genetics is a bitch.

Flat Screen of Doom.

As expected, the general consensus was too much ceviche. Most everyone played it too safe. With that said both Nina and Shirley’s raw items were at least flavorful and well executed. Other top dishes were Stephanie’s perfectly fried oyster and Brian’s swordfish.

Forget Top Chef. I just wanna look like her.

The winner this week? Stephanie’s crispy oyster! When done correctly, nothing beats a perfectly fried oyster. Crunchy on the outside and creamy brininess on the inside. Too bad there was no sponsor for this week’s challenge. No sponsor = no money. That makeover will have to wait. 

Not so successful were Nick’s overly complicated and yet flat “oysters three ways,” Carlos’ too thin crudo, and Carrie’s fish ball. 

Nick’s dish came across too soft and one dimensioned. Despite the various techniques displayed, the dish had no texture and it lacked acid to bright the whole thing up.

That girl you'd want to avoid at parties.

Carlos’ peach and shrimp relish was good, but the fish was cut way too thin and the flavor got lost. In a challenge to highlight the seafood, Carlos’ was more of a peach dish rather than a fish dish.

However, Carrie committed the real offense. She took a beautiful piece of fish and turned it into mush. Tom says it could have been anything in that croquette. She did exactly what you didn’t want to do in this challenge. Instead of highlighting the seafood, she basically masked it. And with that crucial error, she gets the boot. 

Shhh. I'll be back for an All Star Appearance.

Yup. I’m just as shocked as she is. This was her first time on the bottom and it will be her last. Just goes to show at this stage of the game there’s really no room for error. Funnily enough, Carrie said herself there’s “no more room to hide.” Despite a strong beginning, I guess she’s just been hiding all this time. Frankly I think she was partly sent home for last week boiled broccoli debacle. I mean, c’mon.

So long Carrie! Everyone loved you. I’m sure you’ll get called back for one of these All Star editions!!

Couple more weeks 'till the finale! Who do you think will make it?

Thanks for reading and we’ll see you next week!

{Written by Mykl Wu}

Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 8: "Piggin' Out."

I don't think you know what a "gooch" means.

Sara thinks she’s a gooch. Don’t google that, or do. Either way, I won’t talk about it on here.

Her interpretation of a “gooch” is that she’s bad luck. Because every team she’s been involved in has been mediocre or on the bottom. Um. Maybe the real reason is you’re not a good cook and you pay more attention to your hairdo than your food? Wait. She doesn’t like being on the bottom. Ah. I’ll just leave that one alone.

Wait. Someone just said that Patty, who was kicked off last week, has only been cooking for three years?? C’mon producers, what’s the vetting process here? I swear instead of finding the absolute top contestants, some of these people are literally cast as fodder. #RedShirts

Ensign Patty.

Quickfire time.

Standing next to Padma is none other than New Orleans’ musical icon, Dr. John! 

Talk about having lived a full and fascinating life! During the early days, Dr. John sold drugs, ran a whorehouse, and was been in and out of jail. That’s all before he became a six-time Grammy winner and an inductee to the Rock and Roll hall of fame.

I’m sure some day there will be movies made about him.

What’s this? Someone on the show knows who Dr. John is? Brian recognizes the good Dr. from his recent collaboration with The Black Keys. Of course. He’s also wondering why Dr. John is here. Um. He’s only one of the most famous people from New Orleans?? #FacePalm.

This week’s Quickfire challenge? Make hot sauce.

When Dr. John speak and we need subtitles. You know why? Because he’s just that cool. Us mortals aren’t cool enough to understand him on our own.

Kids. Couple of words to learn this week. 

The man's so cool he's got his own language.

Let’s start with “hip-tang.” What does that mean? According to Dr. John, it has to have a “flavor-nicity of the highest order” mixed in with “tang-a-nicity” to make a killer sauce. 

“Hit it. Can’t quit it,” he preaches.

Amen!

Who wouldn’t want eat something with a little “hip-tang?” Assignment of the week. Use the phrase “hip-tang” at your workplace as much as you can. Instant promotion!

45 minutes. Winner gets immunity. Go.

This is an interesting challenge. Every culture has their own hot sauce. And it’s not, ‘make a dish that does well with hot sauce.’ It’s just the sauce. Like Nina said, “Nowhere to hide.”

Not Hip.

Carlos is pretty psyched. Since he works with hot peppers often, he feels confident about presenting the proper amount of flavor and heat. A lot of other chefs are combining tropical fruits with their peppers. Meanwhile, Justin is adding fermented anchovies. See, that’s super smart. Fermented anchovy means instant umami. And that’s “flavor-nicity” right there!

Although there are no apparently sponsors for this challenge, all of the empty bottles look a lot like they’re from “Louisiana Brand Hot Sauce.” Hopefully the local company, Bruce Foods, got some $$ out of it.

Time’s up.

No Tang.

Both Padma and Dr. John have some accompaniment in front of them so they’re not tasting the sauce as -s. Padma goes with plain white crackers. Dr. John appears to be chasing hot sauce with some cajun rice.

Lesson from this Quickfire. Don’t make hot sauces that are TOO hot. It will bombard the taster’s pallet with too much heat. Balance is key.

Both Sara and Nina’s hot sauces are too hot. They fell to the bottom alongside Nick’s sweet and sour concoction. Don’t blame the guy though. He had his first ulcer at age twenty. So he probably avoided dealing with spicy food. With that said, god knows why he decided to become a chef. Talk about an ulcer-inducing career. Oy.

Now let’s see who’s got the “hip-tang.”

Hip-Tang.

Brian’s green jalapeño with lime and yuzu, Justin’s umami driven anchovy, and Carlos’ habanero mango hot sauce are all pretty “hip.” But there can be only one. And that’s Brian’s hot sauce. He was smart to use jalapeño. It provides just enough heat while the yuzu added the “tang” factor. He gets immunity again. Hope this isn’t a team challenge, cuz whoever is on his team should expect minimal effort.

Elimination Challenge.

In walks another New Orleans icon, Donald Link, wheeling in a whole ginormous pig. Donald Link is the owner of Herb Saint, Cochon, and Cochon Butcher. He was one of the first chefs to return to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, cooking and providing free meals for everyone who needed it. Much like John Besh, Chef Link kept his restaurant group in New Orleans to provide jobs and awesome food to the local people. He’s a true champion of all things New Orleans.

The piggy who went to the market...

Alongside Donald is local artist/butcher/chef, Toby Rodriguez. If you’re a Tony Bourdain fan, you might have see Toby in an episode of No Reservations where Toby took Tony to a small hole in the wall and they feasted on stuffed turkey wings and okra smothered shrimps and crabs. Oh and he threw Tony a REAL boucherie. 

A boucherie is a cajun tradition where a community would come together to slaughter and prepare an whole pig. Since there were no refrigeration back then, the community would break down into groups and every part of the pig would be used and preserved. Some would make ham, other would make boudins. The important thing is that every part is cooked and used. 

This is what happens when you get eliminated. (j/k)

Today’s challenge. As a team, break down this 300 lbs hog and throw their own boucherie. Tomorrow they’ll have 5 hours to cook. Though each chef will be responsible for their own dish, as a team they must use every part of the pig.

As a demo of what kind of dishes are served at a boucherie, Toby and his chefs will make some traditional dishes for the cheftestants tonight. Wow. What a treat! This dinner alone is worth surviving 8 episodes in!

The chefs gather around the hog and start divvying up who gets what. Right away Sara tries to be leader and suggests a “cohesive” menu - only to be immediately shut down by Justin who thinks they need a more “diverse” menu so not everyone’s doing the same thing. #womp.

Um...NO.

It’s already a mess. These guys can’t even work as a team to decide who gets what, let alone butcher and portion out this damn thing. So it comes down to experience. Apparently both Justin and Nick have butchered over 10 whole hogs before so they get to take the lead. Usually at this point someone confesses to have “never done this before.” Apparently either they’ve learned to lie, or finally too embarrassed to admit to it at this point.

Good ole Sara’s playing armchair butcher, questioning every move. Nobody likes her. 

Finally, the animal is broken down and portioned off. Surprise! Carlos is doing...you guess it, tacos! You know, just in case you forget where he’s from. Then comes the actual surprise, Justin, the local chef is also going to make tacos. That’s really smart because you know, regardless of expectation, this still is a New Orleans themed season. So maybe you want to use your local experience and appeal to the crowd. 

Travis is making ramen, with store bought noodles. Brian, with the immunity asks, “like spaghetti?” Haha. Nice dig. #EyeRoll #ItsNotRamen

Real Cajun food.

With shopping done, the chefs comes home to find Toby and his team have taken over the house’s kitchen. They’re making some of the most amazing looking dishes we’ve seen on this show so far. Smoked tasso wrapped in goat cheese, backbone stew, boudins, all look super delicious. Let’s just cancel the rest of the season and give the Top Chef title to Toby. This food looks by far better than anything the cheftestants made this season. 

Next morning, it’s time to cook. Let’s head off to The Bayou Barn.

Sara is bitching about this being an outdoor cooking challenge. Hey it’s a boucherie! What did you expect? Cooking demo complete with swap-outs at William Sonoma? Psst.

The Bayou Barn is an outdoor catering/events facility. That means they’ve got lots of nifty outdoor cooking gadgets. A standing smoker, giant charcoal grills, and a “china box” are all ready to go. 

Top Chef

“A minute and forty seven guys!!” shouts Brian the immunity calmly while drinking some iced-tea. Not so fast. There’s actually an hour and forty seven minutes left to go. Yeah. We can tell he’s taking this week seriously.

Every week someone decides to make something they’ve never made before. Even though Stephanie’s got arguably the easiest ingredient, pork belly, she decides to go off the reservation. She’s going to make a pork “brodo” (soup) with crispy pork skin. Good luck. Making something for the first time always works out well on Top Chef.

I'm gonna start a fire!

Louis the Loner tells us he’s not very social and basically has no friends. However, he’s made more friends these few weeks than he has in years. This is making him all warm and fuzzy and he would love to stay longer. That my friends is what the editors call “foreshadowing.” Chances are Louis is in trouble. That and he’s making freaking popcorn. 

Apparently there’s also a boucherie tradition in China. Because Shirley remembers going to grandma’s house where they did the same thing, breaking down and sharing a whole pig. She’s going to make dumplings. 

Gnah!!

Oh oh. Looks like Justin’s going to burn the whole damn place down. His open fire grill is getting a little out of control and with cooking pork breast, low and slow is usually the key. Scorching is usually not the recommended cooking technique. He might be on the hot seat. Get it? Heh.

Time’s up. Here what these guys came up with.

Brian - Porchetta with Oyster Mushrooms.

Yup. Dude has immunity and really wanted to go outside his comfort zone. So he make a pork belly roll with some sautéed mushrooms. Way to go out on a limb dude.

However, even Brian can’t screw this up. Donald Link said this would be something he’d make if he was in this challenge. 

Tom and Hugh Acheson tried to cut in line. Got totally shut down. Ha.

Not exactly Boucherie food.

Sara - Pork Dim Sum with Crab & Shrimp Har Gow (dumpling).

So apparently Sara still thinks her expertise is Asian food. However, seems like she decided to focus on the food this week. Both Tom and Hugh thought it was pretty good. Good thing. I’m tired of her bitching about how bad she is.

Justin - Wood Roasted Pork Breast Taco with Pork Liver Salsa Verde.

I’m not sure where Justin got his taco technique from. Usually the proteins in tacos are cut into small, bite sized pieces so it’s easier to eat. But Justin decides to serve the pork breast in slices. Not a smart move. Oh oh. Perhaps it was the flames, but Donald Link thought the pork was dry. 

Boucherie via Mexico.

Carlos - Pozole Verde with Fried Chorizo Tacos.

Now that’s a smart move. Serve a hearty stew with a size of crispy crunchy taco. You don’t find a land war in Asia, and you don’t try to out cook tacos with a Mexican! Carlos shows Justin how to properly cook/serve a taco. 

Shirley - Jiaozi Dumpling with Pork, Grilled Kidney & Crispy Pork Fat Salad.

Jiaozi dumplings are essentially Chinese raviolis. They’re savory and always boiled in water. To serve them with something crispy like cracklings is the perfect play on texture. Soft meaty pillows of meat alongside crispy strips of pork skin. We might have a winner here. 

#FacePalm

Louis - Slow Grilled Pork Leg with Spring Onions, Shitake Mushrooms, Melted Corn and Popcorn.

Some whispers to Tom that this is the “best one.” Tom totally disagrees. Hugh found it confusing. Melted corn served with popcorn. I guess calling it “avant garde” would be putting it nicely.

Stephanie - Pork Brodo with Braised Pork Belly & Summer Vegetable Pickle.

Stephanie is not confident about her dish. On paper this dish sounds delicious. However, neither Donald or Padma liked it. Congrats Steph. You just screwed up one of the winningest ingredients on Top Chef.

Travis - Cajun Style Pork Ramen with Pork Bone Broth & Collard Greens.

David Chang would CUT you for this.

Earlier Travis tried to sell this dish as “Asian-Cajun.” To which Donald Link mockingly said, “Ca-sian.” Immediately Hugh asks if the noodles were handmade. Nope. And of course Hugh then shares sarcastically with Tom on the “difficulty” of making ramen noodles. Tom rolls his eyes in disdain. 

Carrie - Crispy Trotters with Snap Peas & Pickled Onions.

Crispy trotters is one of those super delicious things that most people won’t eat because of what it is (pigs feet). You’re missing out. Think of it as the best tasting chicken nuggets ever. Only it’s pork. Crispy on the outside and warm and tasty on the inside. Tom and Hugh agrees that this is going to be a tough one to judge because there are so many good dishes.

It's head, but Tete sounds better.

Nick - Tete De Cochon (pig’s head) with Summer Beans, Lemongrass Vinaigrette & Wheat Berries.

Dude deserves props for pulling off this dish where it take a lot of work. He had to cook down the head, take the meat off, and roll the whole thing into a torchon. Though Donald Link thought it was super heavy, Nick balanced it out with the bright and crunchy veggies.

Nina - Braised Pig’s Head Ragu, Roasted Corn & Mustard Greens.

Though Nina had told Tom earlier that she wasn’t going to use heat, a last minute tasting caused her to reconsider. She add some cayenne peppers at the end to give the dish some pop. Good decision because both Tom and Hugh really liked the dish.

"I'm hopeful this season will get better!"

During the interlude Stephanie tells us what a nervous wreck she is. Nobody cares.

Back in the stew room. The flat screen of doom beckons.

What?! Tom just said that this was the best food he’s had in 11 seasons. The chefs in the stew room can’t believe it, the other judges probably don’t believe it, I certainly don’t believe it. 

The judges all like Shirley’s dumplings, Carlos’ pozole, and even Brian’s porchetta. On the flip side, Justin’s dry taco, Louis’ bizarre popcorn dish, Travis’ poor excuse of ramen, and Stephanie, who couldn’t bring flavor into braised pork belly. 

In a game of “one-upmanship” in front of the Judges, Shirley tells the judges that she and her mom used to travel three days to grandma’s house to make those dumplings.

The thrill of victory.

Carlos says people used to ride the bus for four hours just to have his mom’s pozole. Nina’s dad kicked the British out of Saint Lucia. 

The winner? Carlos with his comforting pozole with the chorizo tacos. Tom tells all three of them to keep cooking like this. Looks like Carlos is starting to find his stride. 

Time for the axis of bad food.

Justin, Louis, and Stephanie are called in. 

Sassy Hip-Tang.

Justin is defiant. He’s surprised that he’s here. Padma, being the pretty “mean girl” she is, immediate strikes back by telling him that his pork was “very bland and very dry.” This is an escalation from her earlier statement, “Justin’s meat was a little dry when we had it…”

Don’t be petulant with Padma or she’ll cut ya! #Protip

Tom quickly steps in and tells Justin that ALL the food was good and his portion of Justin’s meat was well cooked. So maybe this was just an issue of consistency. Ha.

Agony of defeat.

Stephanie’s problem is that her dish tastes unfinished. Tom needed more texture, more flavor, more something. At this level of competition any little mistake could sent you packing. Or better yet, serve the judges some popcorn.

Louis with his overly sweet, nonsensical popcorn dish gets the cut. He just tried to be too “cute” with this challenge. When Donald Link says he “hates” something on your plate, you know it’s time to go. So long Louis. Even though you worked for Thomas Keller, the only thing I’ll remember about you is that Thomas Keller is a great chef. 

Judging by the reaction of the stew room, I think people thought hoped it was going to be Stephanie. No worries folks. Her time will be up soon.

Next up - RESTAURANT WARS!!

Top Chef New Orleans Recap Episode 2 "Rebuilding New Orleans."

There’s no crying in cooking. Especially when it’s Top Chef.

It’s embarrassing enough having to stand in front of Chefs’ Table, pleading for your culinary life. What you don’t want is to return to the stew room and show your fellow cooks that you’re weak. Picking up right where last week’s episode left off, Patty Vega is  failing to hold back her tears as she returns to the stew room to be consoled by her fellow chefs.

“Did you feel like the right person went home?” Bret Pelaggi asks.

Way to kick the girl when she’s down. 

Where there's gumbo, there's a celebration.

With the tears still streaming down Patty’s face, in walks Padma. There are only a few reasons why a judge would come into the stew room after a challenge. It’s either Tom coming to tell you how disappointed he is, or it’s Padma with another challenge.

Hey remember how you haven’t had a Quickfire challenge yet? Well here you go.

It’s gumbo time.

Originated in Louisiana in the 18th century, gumbo is one of the most popular and revered foods in New Orleans. Like Michael Sichel says, “Being a chef in New Orleans, you don’t have gumbo on your menu you’re not...you’re going out of business.”

Legend

However, to properly prepare a gumbo takes time. So this will be the longest Quickfire ever. The chefs are to head home and start their gumbo tonight, and they’ll have 15 minutes tomorrow to finish it in the Top Chef Kitchen.

Oh yeah, and they’ll be serving their gumbo to guest judge and local legend, Leah Chase. 

That’s right. After a long and intense day of working with ingredients you’re not familiar with in a setting you’re not comfortable in, you now need to create one of the most iconic New Orleans dishes for literally the Queen of Creole Cuisine herself. Good luck.

Winner of this Quickfire gets well deserved immunity.

Here we go. I totally called it. Judging by last’s week showing of all the chefs who knew they were going to New Orleans and yet didn’t learn to cook with gators/frogs/turtles, I knew there’ll be at least one yahoo who’d say this:

“I have never made gumbo before…”Aaron Cuschieri confessed.

Really?!? At some point before the competition someone must have given you a hint on what city you’re going to right? Unless it’s a blindfold kidnapping situation there is no excuse on why a chef this season wouldn’t practice making gumbos, boudins, po’boys. That alone should be grounds for dismissal.

The chefs head back to cook. As big as their townhouse looked, 18 people cooking under one roof that’s not fit for professional use is a challenge in itself. Everyone gets a crock pot. Enjoy.

With gumbo being such a personal dish, each chef is asked to incorporate part of their personal history or heritage into the stew. Hey! What a perfect way to introduce some back history for our cheftestants!

Did you know (Blitz edition):

-Carries Mashaney is from Iowa but her husband’s from Trinidad? 

-Jason Cichonski ‘s restaurant is named after his mom, who passed away when he was 3 years old?

-Michael Sichel is a cancer survivor, but we’re not told what kind.

Yeah. All semi interesting. The only interesting thing is that despite being the chef of Galatoire’s and having (self-proclaimed) 10 years of experience cooking gumbo, Michael Sichel dumped his first batch and decided to do something different at 1:30 am.

Next morning our blurry eyed chefs cradle their crock pots into the Top Chef kitchen. Prepared to serve Leah Chase their personal gumbo.

Nothing sexy about this mess.

Let’s start with the least favorites.

Jason’s Polish-inspired gumbo with beets and potatoes came up short. Leah thought it would have been better if it was more of a borscht. To which he responds, “Bullsh%t! I know that dish tasted good.”

This guy. So basically people usually think you’re a douche until you throw down some skills in the kitchen and then if they still think you’re a douche you’ll just curse at them? Such disrespect to one of the legendary chefs of this region. Son, she was making gumbo probably even before your dad was born. Sheesh. Talk about grounds for dismissal.

Michael’s drunken chicken gumbo was a failure. He found a chicken and a six pack of beer at 1:30 in the morning and decided that was the way to go. I suspect it wasn’t the chicken who was drunk.

Mr. President, this Jason kid's got an attitude problem.

Surprise surprise. Patty’s plantain-filled mofongo inspired gumbo went nowhere. Once again the critique was basically “Good idea, poorly executed.” It’s the second challenge and already this sounds like her own personal broken record.

On the good side…

Aaron’s hot and sour Asian style gumbo with the crispy prawns fried whole was a hit. You know what’s even a bigger hit? Having Padma asking with no expression whatsoever, “So you want me to put the whole head in my mouth?”  You Top Chef aficionados will remember that Padma said almost the exact same thing last season during the episode of “Chefs at Sea.” Oh Padma. You cheeky girl you.

Winner: Heartland meets Caribbean.

Carrie’s Iowan-Trinidadian gumbo with coconut, green mango & corn crumble also landed on top. It reminded Leah of one of her “Holy Thursday” gumbo z'herbes. High praise indeed.

Shirley’s braised pork belly with Mexican rice gumbo get a nod. Once again, pork belly when done correctly can usually carry you to the top. 

Winner of the Quickfire? Carrie with her coconut and mango gumbo. I guess if your dish can remind the judge of one of her own then you’re probably going to win. Immunity for her.

Local boy and James Beard nominee Justin Devillier looks disappointed for not even being named top three. I would be too if I was from NOLA and failed to win this one. You only get so many local challenge advantages!

No time to breath. Let’s start the Elimination Challenge.

The guest judge for this week? Susan Spicer, another member of New Orleans’ culinary royalty. She’s the owner of Bayona, one of the most acclaimed restaurants in the city. The HBO show “Treme” features a character, Janette Desautel that’s loosely based on her. 

The first team challenge. Always interesting to see how each chef’s personality and leadership plays out during these collaborations. 

Food trucks are all the rage nowadays and New Orleans is no exception. With a smaller menu and low overhead, food trucks are the best way for up-and-coming chefs to show off their skills without too much risk. 

Today, they will divide into 4 teams and serve lunch to the volunteers of Habitat for Humanity, one of the great organizations that is helping New Orleans and surrounding areas to rebuild. Since Katrina hit, Habitat has help built or rehabbed 557 homes. If anyone deserves a nice lunch, it’s them.

Yellow Team:

Aaron, Carlos, Travis, Carrie & Brian

The Yellow team is going with a taco truck. Gonna give them credit for originality! #Sarcasm Along with tacos, they’ll have ceviche and Carrie is going to make fresh dough for empanadas. Talk about ambitious.

Blue Team:

Jason, Patty, Nicholas & Bret

They made a bandana just for her?

This team’s got problem written all over it already. You have the buddy dynamic between Jason and Bret (both are from Philly) versus the inferiority complex duo of Patty (who’s always on the bottom) and Bret (an out of work cook.)  So you tell me whose ideas are gonna fly here? They’re going with a surfer theme partly because Jason looks like a surfer. I’m shocked they didn’t just puree some beet juice and go with the True Blood theme. 

Green Team:

Louis, Sara, Shirley & Stephanie

With items like shawarma, lentils and chickpeas , Green Team is headed for a Mediterranean theme with a smile. More specifically Louis’ smile. Frankly I had no idea who Louis is. Up until now unless you’ve gained some notoriety through food or personality, you’re a mystery to us. However, Louis does have a nice smile. So there’s that.

Red Team:

Justin, Bene, Janine, Michael & Nina

Miami meets the deep south. On paper this team looks strong. You have Nina who won the first challenge, Justin the James Beard nominee, Michael who beat cancer and of course Janine who is pretty. Oh wait. There’s also Bene who’s doing his best Alan Arkin impression of the forgotten man. Yeah nobody’s listening to him or his suggestions. 

The two locals who lost the gumbo challenge.

Time to cook. They’ve got 2 hours to prep before service.

Most of the teams are humming and cooking away. Everyone’s getting along and working together. Perhaps it’s still early in the season where everyone’s real personalities aren’t out yet. However, in any kitchen there are natural hierarchies that develop and you can tell right away who are the alpha and who are the betas.

Nicolas on the Blue Team is giving directions to Patty and Bret so they won’t “over-think” the dish. Read: “Follow my direction you minions.”  Meanwhile, they’ve decided that since Jason is the pretty one who looks like a surfer he should stand outside, expedite and chat people up. Because of that Jason is pre-making all of his salmon hand rolls ahead of time. 

She got more screen time than most chefs!

Over on the Red Team invisible man Bene, with no headlining dish of his own, has been delegated to an assistant. They say if you don’t know who the sucker is at the poker table, chances are you’re it. Well, the good news is Bene knows he’s the sucker. 

The focus shifts back on what is really important here. The continuous effort to rebuild the city of New Orleans. Throughout the episode we see how each local chef was affected by Hurricane Katrina. Susan Spicer, Leah Chase, Michael Sichel, and Justin Devilllier all lost their homes or restaurants in some capacity. Even at the time of filming, Gail Simmons says there are still 50,000 houses that needs to be rebuilt. All the more reasons to feed the volunteers some good food so they can keep on working right?

Time to check out the food.

Yellow Team 

(Travis & Brian)

Dorado & Shrimp Ceviche with Tomato

Crispy shrimps' head.

(Carrie & Aaron)

Beef & Pork Curry Empanadas with Watercress and Mango

(Carlos & Aaron)

Tilapia Tacos with Chipotle Aioli & Cabbage

Blue Team

(Jason)

Salmon Hand Roll with Quinoa, Honey Mustard Miso & Cucumber.

(Nicolas)

Grilled Shrimp with Melon-Sungold Salad & Crushed Wasabi Peas

(Bret)

You're not going to win Top Chef with tuna sliders.

Coconut Ceviche with Read Snapper & Bay Scallops

(Patty)

Tuna Slider with Crispy Pancetta, Avocado & Tomato

Red Team

(Janine)

Green Gazpacho with Pickled Shrimp

(Justin)

Lobster & Crab Fritters withe Corn Puree & Bacon Jam

(Nina & Bene)

Jerk Chicken Sandwich with Mango & Crispy Plantains

Lots of green foods today.

(Michael)

Ricotta with Burnt Honey, Stone Fruit & Toasted Coconut

Green Team

(Stephanie)

Crispy Chickpeas with Watercress & Radish Salad

(Sara)

Tuna Burger with Sprouts, Avocado & Watermelon Rind Pickles

(Shirley)

Spicy Grilled Lamb Salad with Cucumber & Asian Pear

Little Bo Peep's looking for you...

Service is over and everyone’s pretty confident. Bret (Blue Team) even commented that he felt good because the other team ran out of a bunch of stuff and his team didn’t. Yeah, think about that for a bit. 

The important thing is that hard working ladies and gentleman out there got a good meal from somebody. And the rebuilding of New Orleans will “Keep on keepin’ on.”

Time for the Flat Screen of Judgement. This season in their new and improved stew room, the chefs will get a preview of who might have done well and who faltered. Everyone gets to watch. Some gets to gloat, others agonize.

The Yellow and Green team both scored high. Both team’s dishes made sense, their theme’s cohesive, and most importantly it was well executed. 

This is when being "flaky" is a good thing.

On the flip side are the Blue and Red teams. At this level, the smallest thing can put you in the bottom. Each team’s dishes had either poorly thought out concept, or made choices that resulted in a bad dish.

The Yellow team gets called to the winner’s circle. The secret to their success? Working together. You can see that each dish took collaborate effort between two members to make. That’s team unity and the key in a challenge like this. However there can be only one winner. And that person is Carrie. The fact that she used a wine bottle as a rolling pin to make empanada dough on the spot in the truck pushes her over the edge. Despite having immunity, she didn’t let up. With two straight wins and an appearance in the winning group every time so far, she’s establishes herself as a front runner.

The losing team is the Blue Team. Although we’re not even at November yet, it might as well be Festivus. Because Tom has a lot of problem with you people.

You might as well have served me okra!

Where do we begin? Nicolas’ wasabi garnish made no sense, Bret’s ceviche was under seasoned and not cold enough, Jason’s hand roll was mushy, and Patty’s tuna slider had the misfortune of a bad tomato which ruined the whole dish.

Jason explains that he knew a mistake was made, but he premade the rolls so he can stand out front and chat people up. When Jason is pressed to explain why he sacrificed his dish just so he can interact...Bret pulls a deft move of this young season.

Knowingly or not, he “no-looked” Jason under the bus. Bret tells the judges that the reason Jason made his hand roll ahead of time was since it was a “surf” truck and he looked like a surfer, it was only fitting that he was “the host.” That little inception right there drove the stake through Jason’s heart. (Hey it’s probably last time I get to use a True Blood reference.) 

Good luck with Last Chance Kitchen True Blood!

At this point though I think even Patty is resigned to get sent home. She’s been on the bottom every single challenge. There’s no more fight in her. Meanwhile, Jason is literally pouting. Alas, that pretty blond hair and surfer good looks can’t save him now. If there’s anything Tom cannot stand (aside from skin on his red peppers and the slimy taste of okra) is a bad attitude with misplaced priorities. What the sexiest chef in Philadelphia seems to have forgotten is that in the kitchen, “It better to taste good than to look good.”

Good luck in Last Chance Kitchen, Jason. Here’s $10 bucks that Patty is right behind you.

Next week. Commander’s Palace and Paul Prudhomme. Kids, do yourself a favor and click on the links to familiarize yourself with these two legendary names. Then, unlike most of the chefs this season, you'll have done some research on the legendary food city of New Orleans.